09/06/2013

Well on Wednesday night I finally texted Justin. I asked if he was feeling better and said I just wanted to make sure he was okay. He said he was doing okay and that he just felt really gross after finding that out about his ex and he was sorry for being weird. I said it was okay and I understood, and that I just wanted to give him space to figure things out. Then he asked about how my new living situation was going and we talked about that for awhile so I felt much better about things. He didn’t text me at all yesterday and I was starting to feel kinda down about it and like obviously he must have lost interest (I’m so insecure I can’t stand it!). But then this morning as I was driving to work at like 7 am he texted me!!!!!! =D We talked for a bit this morning so again I feel better about the situation. I think this is just going to have to move reallllllllllly slowly. And I need to learn to be okay with that or just walk away. I just wish I knew how he actually felt about me but I know asking him will REALLY scare him away!

Tomorrow morning I am working 6-10 then heading over to Grace’s. It’s her bf’s birthday celebration so we are BBQ’ing andddddddd shooting guns! Which I have never done before, so I’m kind of excited. I wanted to invite Justin out because he loves guns but things are just too weird between us now. Maybe tomorrow or later tonight if he messages me again I’ll mention something. We’ll see.

I’m having a VERY hard time adjusting to life at home…I’m not sure I can do it. I miss my freedom. I am 27 years old and I now have to tell my parents where I am going and what I am doing and blah blah…it’s not cool. =/

Still angry about the whole Brad having a girlfriend thing but trying not to let it eat me alive.

James texted me last night finally asking again if we could talk. I said I was busy and I thought we were supposed to talk last week. He said he got too scared to call. Whatever. I’m so over it. I’m sick of his immaturity and bullshit. I might have to see him tomorrow at Grace’s…but I hope things aren’t too weird. I miss my best friend, but I can’t put myself through those situations any longer.