Florentine

August 5, 2013

Previous: Reader’s Choice: I’m not lost, just wandering

Reader’s Choice: A Love Letter

I have been writing in Open Diary for over a dozen years. It seems as if everyone is “jumping ship,” so to speak. I have mixed feelings. I can write anywhere, and often have, filling dozens of notebooks with trivial girlish notions, the heartache of first loves lost, and mediocre prose. I held a Livejournal, changed names a handful of times on OD, and suffered through vast deserts of dry spells and the distractions of humdrum daily living.

And yet.

Open Diary has always been there when I needed it. It has existed as a haven, impervious to periods of both great neglect and rampant, scribbled abuse. It has fostered friendships, relationships, melodrama, warmth, growth, awareness, understanding, selfishness, self-awareness, Identity. Above all, Identity. It has stolen my time and shaped my spirit. I am who I am, in part, because of the millions of words I’ve written and the dozens of people I’ve met through Open Diary.

Not long ago I questioned my dedication to Open Diary, “Occasionally I wonder if writing here for 13 years is a testament to my dedication to record and reflect, or if it’s a bit pathetic. I mean, so many have moved on. Am I not moving on? Is finding solace and comfort in this space okay? Or should I be more well-adjusted by now? Should I have found alternative outlets?”
But I kept plugging along, writing when I had something to say, always waiting for it to feel natural (but it never does, does it? The longer you write, the harder it gets and the more you worry about The Capital Things: the Craft, the Audience, the Meaning.). It has always seemed harder to quit–to let go–than it has to work until the words flow with ease.

So I’ve stayed out of both habit and hope, and no small amount of history. I am not resistant to starting afresh in a new place, though I am hesitant to leave the past behind me. My Open Diary will stay as it is until outside forces release it into the void or the infrastructure crumbles. I want it to be a beacon–a reminder–to all those who stumble upon it: We were here. We were a community. We will disperse into other corners of the world and forge new communities, retain our identities, and write our lives and experiences in an effort to belong and exist and create. Always.

ScruffyPete

August 6, 2013

Oh bravo! Well said.

confusedchick

As another 13 year OD member, I also echo a lot of your sentiments about this site. I think most of us long-time members feel the same way and most of us probably will be here until it crumbles. 🙂

Mns

I’ve been here since early ’99. Have weathered the ups and downs, heard the crys of “its over” and watched people jump ship. I, too, will be here till the end. I have met (in real life, too) numerous people from this site. wonderful people. (well, all except one. lol) it will be a sad day if/when OD goes under for the final time.

annoying itch

ditto

Runt

Been here 12 years and I would hate to see it just up and vanish. I think I’ve stayed in hopes of a life raft coming along and bring OD back to what it once was.

littlefallsmets

Sunday night, I sat at a table in a cafe in Utica with five present or past OD writers and that must count for something.

Emmy Lou

Fabulous entry! A lot of people trash OD for always breaking and for the trolls, but I met some of my very best friends on this website 🙂 xxx

Desert Diva

Been here since 99 or 2000. I won’t be leaving unless it is gone completely, but I have created a couple of other diaries/blogs around the web just in case.

glitter and trauma

Well said, that’s exactly how I feel. I’ve joined prosebox out of fear of having nowhere to write, but it feels a bit like cheating, and I know I’ll stick with OD until I’m forced out, or find the site no longer in existence. It’s seen me through 13 years or more of teenage angst, and then genuine real life joy and despair, it seems churlish to turn my back now! Xx

Hypnotica

Been here a long time too. I don’t want to leave but it seems like we won’t get the choice eventually

Not everyone is jumping ship – I’ll go down with the ship, I’m sure. If OD finally bites the dust, I’ll just stick with Facebook. I have had dozens of online journals throughout the years at all sorts of sites, but none of them have felt right except for OD. So when it finally goes down, aside from my faith blog, that will be the end of online journaling for me!

Ditto, darlin’! I’m another member of the 13+ club, and the idea of this little community shattering apart makes my heart sad. It’s not just “a place to write,” you know? It’s absolutely this insular little community of friends & stories & HISTORY; it’d be like watching my hometown burn if this place ever vanished.

Beautiful entry. I’m very happy it made Reader’s Choice. I love OD and plan on being here as long as the site exists. I met my best friends here. I met my boyfriend here. This place means a lot to me as I know it does to many..

I have been on OD for about 10 years, your entry sums up my thoughts and feelings about this place quite well. Very eloquently put!

Avalon

A mutual friend directed me to this entry. Beautifully said! I agree wholeheartedly.

aphrodite's.envy

Wow, this makes me want to cry (randomly saw you on RC). I definitely feel the same way about OD.

Poison Smile

Lola Falana

Excellent entry.I have been here for 8 years mayby.Thru the death of my Mom and countless realationships,buying a house,loosing a job…blah,blah,blah.I also have soft journals that I write in.So as long as this one holds up so will I.When things get tough I have a tendency to see where it goes.Who knows mayby this will get better?We can only hope.Lola Falana

Parrothead5183

Amen. RYN: Microfiber for us! Not quite that hippy-dippy. …yet.

THis is justme

August 8, 2013

yes

pandemonium's box

I can’t leave. I just can’t. But having been one of the victims of the hacking back in 05 and losing three years of my writing, I secured this name at prose box and maybe I’ll cross post for a while. But I won’t leave until there’s nothing left.

.erodium.

August 9, 2013

you’ve grown. it captures that.

August 10, 2013

ryn: us? fighting? i don’t recall anything like that. 🙂

August 13, 2013

re: I DID think of you when I was in the Minneapolis airport! I’ve never really been to Minnesota (except for layovers and I drove across the teeny tiny bottom portion a few times), but I bet it’s beautiful. Where I used to live in Montana, people wore North Face for real reasons, too. I never felt like I could fit in, cuz I’m not too outdoorsy compared to those kinda people who think ten mike hikes are no big thing. But I like to have campfires and swim in lakes, so that qualifies, yeah? Haha. My mom tells me all the time that I’ll gain a new group of friends when I someday have kids, cuz I’ll make friends with other moms. But I fear that none of them will be my true friends, as you mentioned. It’ll just be because we have common interests and little beings to attend to. I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll consider MN 🙂