08/02/2011

I’m turning 30 on the 18th of this month and for some reason I’m really freaking out about it. I’m not really sure why, and I’m trying to figure that out before I let it take hold.

Maybe because I remember when my mom turned 30, lol.

Maybe because I’ve been with Ali basically since I was 21, so most of my 20’s has been all about him!

Maybe because I’m just not done being young, and sorry, but 30’s sounds so old!

Lame. I’m lame.

Anyway, I’ve been a busy little housework bee the last few days, I’m spring cleaning in winter! Boring so I won’t really go into it.

My girls have had a wee cold, which is awful because they’ve been coughing and snuffling in their sleep. This keeps me up worrying, and then I get less sleep.

And I can’t lay on my back so I can’t sleep!

Ella has taken to saying “WOW” for everything. It’s hilarious! She wakes up in the morning and walks into the living room and says WoW!! Just the tone of her voice is so cute, like she’s just AMAZED at every little thing. She’s also starting to get colours which is so cool, she loves picking the colour she wants. Today I asked which hair clips she wanted to wear. “Blue!” she answered, and pointed at the blue ones. Then when I praise her, she raises her hand and says “Fives!” so she gets a high five 🙂

She’s also calling her sister “Belle” which may yet stick. I’ve gotten so used to calling Annabelle her whole name, or just Anna…so it may not as well!

Anna is such a pretty wee thing. It often strikes me when she gives me a smile, or when she’s falling asleep. Just lovely. (Ella is lovely of course, but they have a different type of beauty. Ella is the curly strawberry blonde porcelain doll, while Anna is the Brunette pretty girl next door)

Anna woke up from her nap today saying “Mama, mama”, which was nice. She often looks at me and just says Daddadadadada. I find it hilarious, but as she is now almost 17 months, I wish she had a few more words. I must find more time to read to her, as Ella tends to get more stories because she asks for them!

I have several friends who have been trying for a few years to get pregnant, and I find it hard to talk about my current pregnancy to them. I stutter over my words, trying not to sound ungrateful. Yes, it took me 2 years to get pregnant with Ella after my miscarriage, but now I’m on my 3rd pregnancy. And I sometimes want to express how TERRIFIED I am to deal with a newborn while I have 2 young girls, but to these friends all I can express is happiness and joy, because I know they would give their right arm to be in my position. I’ve been there, I remember. I understand. I just got off the phone with one of them, so it’s on my mind.

Anyways, I’m so tired, I need to organise my girls to get to bed, then I can chill and no doubt fall asleep before I get any bedtime with my Ali. Married with kids is hard on one’s love life! 🙂 (Yes, it’s a miracle I’m pregnant, lol. I think we hit the one day we needed to fall pregnant, because we hadn’t had any for at least a week before and after, lol)

Enough of THAT! Ali does read my diary afterall 😉

Goodnight!