Rambles about weightloss, kids

Sometimes I think that I am never going to finish losing this weight.  Sometimes I feel like I have gotten complacent and have stopped trying.  Ugh.  I haven’t really put that much effort in over the past few months? Why?!  I could be so much closer to my goal right now.  While I am still quite a bit smaller than I was a year ago, I’m not anywhere near a healthy range, or a range I am happy with.  It seems like the more I exercise, the more I crave food (which according to the exercise fad of today, cardio is now considered a not so great exercise).  Maybe I should try setting some goals for Christmas time?? (which would all depend on whether we decide to try for another baby. more on that in a bit).  Its summertime, i have no excuse to not atleast just get outside and play with the kids and get more activity in.  Speaking of, I’m hoping to take them to the playground at the lake today.  I need to check the weather and see if it is going to rain.  I may take their water guns and a few other things to keep them busy for a while.  The last time we went to the playground, they almost seemed disinterested in it.

Ethan’s 3 year dr visit went ok.  She gave me a referral to have his speech tested.  He talks, and will talk in sentences, but only when he wants to talk.  He won’t answer questions, or talk conversationally.  I don’t know.  I guess we can go ahead and get him tested, and if he needs therapy, then it is all the better that we get it started sooner.  I’ve been lazy with the potty training lately.  I need to step it up, and do full time.  I need to get this kid out of diapers!  If I let him run around without pants and a diaper, and the potty is nearby, he will go to it and pee in it.  If I put a pull up on him, he will forget all about the potty and use the pullup.  I’m giong to start trying real underwear, even if it means changing them 20 times a day.  I really don’t like potty training!

I got some notes asking how many kids we want.  I am so unsure right now.  I’d love to have a bunch of kids. Even though my kids are hard to handle some days, I just love them.  There really is no greater joy.  I think 4 would be a good number, but when I really sit and think about it, I talk myself out of having any more.  We can do so much more with our kids with only having 2, like a trip to Disney for example.  We are almost to the point of our kids being more independent, do we really want to start the process over again with babies?  We’d also have to buy a new car, and probably eventually a bigger house.  But on the other hand I would love to have a warm snuggly bundle to love on and enjoy.  I’d love to try for a girl.  I’ve always wanted a little girl to spoil.  I never imagined I would have two boys and no little girl.  It seems all of the things I planned/wanted growing up don’t seem to work out (working in a zoo, a beautiful wedding, having a little girl).  I’d love to have a big family, especially at Christmastime, when they have families of their own and come to visit (is it weird that both Jamie and I are excited at the thought of grandbabies someday?!).  I’d love to have a house full.  I guess where Jamie and I are so detached from our own families, we want to build our own little brood.  It’s just hard to make a final decision.  Financhially and logically it makes sense to stick with 2, but on the emotional side, more children is more fulfilling.  And thus, that is why we keep flip flopping on the matter.