In the End, They’ll Chop Me Down

When I was somewhat younger, (I don’t remember the exact times of events in my life well, so I can’t give an age), my parents planted a birch tree in our front yard for me in August. A birthday tree of sorts, and I refused such common trees as an apple or pine. A tree that depicted what would become the rest of my life…small and insignificant, branching out, growing…changing with the seasons. Above all else, a beautiful mystery, and when finally at the end of its existence…useful for something else.

My sister was planted a tree in July, a douglas fir I believe, if my non-green thumb is any indication. It was planted in the backyard. Up and up it grows, strong, sturdy. Plain, green, only inner beauty. Not mysterious at all. A tree from which to hang life’s events…not branching out much, encompassed in its own world.

Julius and Augusta.

My sister and I.

I doubt my parents planned it that way. That those two trees, planted years apart, would grow and depict their two daughters lives so in sync. Maybe watching them through the windows of a happy household molded us, guided us to be the people we are today. Maybe I think too much, maybe not enough.

I wonder sometimes if my sister had a hard time growing up in my shadow, in the backyard. Although she excelled in everything perfectly, I excelled in everything dynamically. I hope she knows it was me that strived to be everything she was but fell short. I hope she doesn’t believe I tried to steal the spotlight with my three ring circus that I’ve since put away. I hope she knows all of that and more.

Those trees still grow strong in the yard of an aging home. The little girls that once played around them have grown up and have gone in different directions. Sometimes I’ll watch Augusta sway in the wind, her leaves falling like tears to the ground…Julius still solid as a rock.

That birch tree is my personality, my gift from my parents. As much as the personality given to me by nature. Trees, nature, nurture, home and hearth.

They all brought me here today.

‘They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum, and charged the people a dollar and half to see ’em’ ~Joni Mitchell