Pablo the Dog

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Maaaaaan, so alright, I’ve been working at home for the last year.  Fuck yea.  Awesome.  If anyone ever asks you, “so hey, wanna go do whatever it is you do now, but just go do it from home instead?”  Say yes.  You get into a routine of absolute sloth and staying out until whenever you want cause you don’t have to do shit.  So Im supervising two teams, up for a promotion, passed over, disappointed out of principal but secretly happy because I get to stay in my very comfortable, sleeping in, no driving, staying out late, most happy rut.  So Im looking for a house since Feb, figure, alright, I’m not getting promoted anytime soon, might as well start looking further away.  Find this kinda Thoreau-ie like island city where you have everything you want right there, but nothing within 15 miles outside the town.  Dirt cheap gorgeous houses.  So I find an awesome house, updated, big yard, fenced in, excited cause Im gonna buy me a dog.  And Im gonna name him Pablo.  Pablo the dog who is happy and I don’t do my work cause I just sit and roll around on the floor with him say who’s a good dog and do dog whisperer shit on him and then when the apocolypse comes walk down the pock marked road with my leather outfit, shotgun, and dog by my side. 

Two days before I close on the house, phone call, “hey wanna come back in the office?”  Dicks.  So they moved the person who got promoted over me, offered me that job over 6 teams, lot more money, I can stay at home at the job I’m at or go in and take it.  So I got the new house and mortgage so I have to take it which means no sleeping in, no staying out late, no Pablo the dog.  So today was my first day back.  Lame.  And Im over my old boss now which is awkward.  And all the corporate people are fucking icky.  Just fakey fake fakertons.  And Im gonna have to travel with these douche bags now.  Like Im going to have to go on trips with one of these random wieners now.  And Im going to have to go to like parties and summits and blah blah.  And I am serious, talking to these people for more than 5 minutes just drains my soul.  And the random reps, leads, and supervisors, are all basically cool, but they aren’t real with me either.  Just cause they expect me some corporate douche bag.  I just wanna be like dude, be cool, settle down, let’s go get drunk or somethin.  But I guess I am kinda being a douche bag cause like everyone is outta work and I’m doing ok just for having to deal with people who make your skin crawl.  Whatevs.  I don’t know.  It’s  weird.  Like I don’t belong here, I don’t know how I got here, the business world is fuckin dumb, but here I am.  Dogless.