Football. Monday jesus football titles

What I hate about the new Monday Night Football

1.  The one guy.  "And the more points they score, the more they’re going to help this team win."

2.  The other one guy. 

3.  Were joined in the booth by sir Anthony Quin.  Lets talk about your life…mmhhmmm……mmmhmmm…..mmmhmmm…..Ah!  ……Mmmhmmm…..mmmhmmm…..Heh, well you certainly can not beat that.  Alright, 14 points scored since we started asking you questions  How bout we ask some more  …mmmhmmm….mmmhmmm….In Aruba!?  …..Mmmmhmmm…..mmhmmm….outstanding!  Sir Anthony Quin.  Its half time now and we take you to Boomer and the gang.

4.  Pink singing a song about football.  That might be Sunday night.  Doesnt matter.  I just dont like Pink.  Fuck Pink.  If you know me at all thats what I always say in most situations, fuck pink.

5.  Saturday night games?  Bah! 

6.  The poor guy who they picked to be in this debacle who cant think of anything to say but interject now and then because he figures he should say something.

"What I like about this guy is he catches the ball with his hands and…"

"Ha!  As opposed to what?  His feet?! Ha!"

"NO!  His body.  You dummy." 

Though I do like that every week is the other two guys answering him with "No!  You dummy."  Or saying in disgust "I dont care."

7.  Players introducing the staring lineup.  "Aight, dis here da big Mui Tai goin through the Steeler Offesive line.  We got Captain Jack Cash at corner, the big sale.  At Receiver from the state of Sipps, big Killian Red and his buddy Face boy."  People have money riding on this shit ya know.  Just tell me whos in the fuckin game.

Bunch of other stuff probably.  Bunch of other stuff probably.  If I was in charge of writing the bible thats how it woulda ended.  Oh so I was shining the reflection from watch in the face of a statue of the virgin mary and saying "Stop iiiiiiiiit.  Cut it ooooooout.  Come on you guys.  Im serious.  Its not funny anymore."

And I bet there was one guy from that time that was just a dick and kinda hung out with everyone cause theres always a gys whos a dick and kinda hangs out with everyone.  Like woo I love wine.  This is the best day of following Jesus ever! ….uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….Garys here.

What?

Ezekial….Gary.

And they shoulda gave him a book.  A reading from the book of Gary the Jerk.  "You like the smell of my butt in your face Jesus dont you?  Huh?  Tell me you like the smell of my butt and I’ll let you up.’  Praise be to God.  Lets shake hands and kneel a bunch and not eat meat.