I loves me some Slayer

Ya know, some things are constant.  My hatred for that old neighbor and my desire to kill him, my herpes, and my love of slayer.  http://www.slayer.net/.  I loves me some Slayer.    And though Slayer will probably never put together an album again that I’d realy say, "HEY!  YOU!  YOU OVER THERE!  I LIKE THAT NEW SLAYER ALBUM!  I LIK..DONT RUN AWAY FROM ME IM NOT GONNA HURT YOU!"  I still loves me some Slayer. 

And theres a lotta bands that have come and went.  Though I cant really think a one.  Wait…gimme a minute…alright this is the most embarrasing thing Ive ever said…Iron Maiden.  Used to love the Iron Maiden.  Used to think, "man when he screams like a girl thats so cool." 

But Slayer, loves me the Slayer.  Before you see the light…you must DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!!!  Ohhhh Slayer.  If I had a kids show youd be my third guest.  The first two would be Elmo and like…I dont know…Oprah?  Do kids like Oprah?  I hate children.  With their fuckin sticky chocolate hands and their Whats that?  Whats that?  And their smell.  Smelly, smelly children.  And all these weiner parents would think, Humph, Elmo and Oprah, I whole heartedly endore my child watching this show.  And then Slayer would guest host.  And then a guest child that Id rent from an adoption agency would begin a skit where hed touch something with sticky chocolate hands.  And I’d say, "Ya know, ya shouldnt touch other peoples things when ya have choclate hands….ya smelly lil sticky latchkey bastard.  But here, Ive invitied Slayer to tell you why.  And they’ll tell you why through song.  For 45 minutes."

So because Ozfest has become the gayest…gayest is derogatory and offensive to homosexual americans…the…poopy?  The lamest?  Yes the lamest sellout boring popfest ever, Slayer created the Unholy Aliance tour.  Ya know why they call it the UNHOLY aliance?  Cause theyre eeeeeeeeeeeevil.  REAL metal bands.  All in their pure evil glory.  All in their sticky smelly children hating glory.  And I have tickets.  

Though I dont really have as much anger in me as before and am much more zen and wouldve changed the lyrics to God Hates Us All to, "I know why your prayers will never be answered.  God hates us all and such."  I still loves me some Slayer.  It brings out the evil in me.  And thats good.  We all need to be evil occasionally.  Frequently.  

Loves me some Slayer.  Hates me some sticky smelly yappy lil kids. 

"I hate everyone equally

You cant tear that outta me

No segregation, seperation

Its just me and my world of enemies"