Five cards of Justice

So it turns out if ya have a twin and you leave the Earth travelling close to the speed of light, it’ll appear to both of ya that time is moving at the normal rate, but he actually ages much faster because time moves slower the faster you move. Its called time dialation. I found that out tonight when I told this one twin friend I have to run away really fast.

Man lifes hard.  Why cant I just get some piece of paper that says PhD and then have CNN call me up every couple of years to say hey!  Doctor!  Ya see that shit about that probe landing on Titan and theyre discussing life forms on other planets?  Wanna come on and talk about what that crazy shit would be like?  And then pay me 2 million and then have late night talk shows call me to ask me that.  And then when Leno called I could be like, Oh yea Ill do your show…Im gonna need a fruit basket though.  Then when I get the fruit basket be like, AHAHAHAHHA!  Leno you FOOL!  Twas a ruse!  Then head off to Letterman.

EH! I should quit my stupid job. Be a pool shark. Ohhhhh or a card Hustla! Go from small town to small town solving mysteries and dealing out five cards of justice. And then everytime Id end up playing cards with my nemesis from the town to resolve our conflict and Id be outmatched by overwhelming odds and then…..Four aces. Dude…I just wrote a pilot for a drama on prime time Fox. Chip Littles is….Four Aces. Maybe I should have three side kicks…hmmm.

*generic mexican stereotype with like a sombrero on and everything cause this episdoe takes place in old Mexico* "I have a flush grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrringo. The Factory is mine! ODELAY!" Then hed reach for the deed across the table and Id say (Oh yea cause I star in it too) "Not so fast Genral Juarez….*Schnict, I flip the cards over* …."

"…..No….no….Four aces????  EY DIOS MIO! El damn you Chip Littles and your amazing card play!"

Later that night

*Mexican chica* Senior, you have saved our village! Please! Please wont you stay with me…I…I love you!

"Im sorry Jessica…Im afraid….its just not in the cards." *Kiss on the forehead, and I walk into the sunset.*

….Wow….wow….Ya feel that? No there aint a window open. The chills you got is from reading this.