Rooflings, the greatest show ever devised

I thought of a great idea for a reality show. Keg of beer, 20 people, and a four story house with slanted roofs. The premise is simple, put the keg and the people on the roof and everybody just has a good ol time a drinkin. Lil later in the evenin some light weight chick has her glass raised “WOOOOOOO, I LIKE CHICKEN!”, loses her footin, tumble tumble, six broken ribs and a shattered fibula later, were down to 19. Be like god damn Survior only interestin.

Its a fuckin killer idea and if there was a show like that Id be glued to my tv every Thursday. Even if the show was on Tuesdays Id still be watchin Thursday on the off chance theyd have an interview with one of the cast aways whod sit in there body cast and struggle to answer the questions with there new speech impediment.

And to mix things up every once and awhile wed throw in a couple of patches of ice, maybe tell the Rooflings that were gonna parachute in a crate of various snacks and then when they open the crate its a monkey shot up on pcp. I dont know see ya gotta tread carefully cause ya do to much shit to em it might be overkill. Ya dont wanna the obstacles overshadow the premise. I mean I guess around the third season youd have to mix stuff up more, Rooflings 3: Uganda. Like a round of quarters immunity challenge except the person who loses…ah fuck that just some arbitrary Roofling,

“Well Kevin, you did good in that round, and remember how we said one Roofling, voted for by our home audience, would receive a brand new pair of Nikes with patented Ultra-Tracktion? Nike, when you need tracktion, its gotta be Nike, Go Nike. (Thats called product placement). Well Kevin, our audience…..voted for you.”

“Yes!”

“So congratulations. Oh Kevin one more thing. Instead of Nikes, weve decided to kill your mother.”

At which point a helicopter drops his mothers lifeless corpse onto the roof with him. Now THATS! Fuckin good tv. Thats called pshycological stress right there. And beyond that whod see that comin. What a twist.

Other things I was kickin around was at some point we throw an air bag down around the perimeter of the house. So when Candiance stumbles to the taco table for a burrito and trips she lands safely. Then as the fear in her subsides and she gets up and cheers, and the Rooflings are all lookin over the edge relieved and cheerin along with her, a man comes up to her and shoots her in the head at point blank range. Thatll shut those bastards up.

In the end there can be only one Roofling.  And really, isnt that a metaphor for the strife and struggle we all face in our lives?  No…no it is not.