That goat bit me!

So I was playin scrabble with Erin, her mom (whom Id totally have sex with, and whom I totally tell Erin Id have sex with) and Erins great gramma who was visiting (from here on out reffered to gramma double jam) and Gram Doub J is like “oh I think its Garys turn.” And Garys Erins Xs name. Then she did it again a couple minutes later and I had this vision of me being like “….MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!” and swipin everythin off the table then gettin up and punchin Double Jam in the face and then puttin the boots to her. And I just busted out laughin, for as anyone could tell, outta nowhere.

And I realize if I had a wish itd be that I could reverse time a bit, so I could do random insane shit, video tape it happenin, reverse time so the even tnever happened but the video would still exist. Oh my, life would be so entertainin and what a tv show Id have. That probably would create some time travel paradox though, Im gonna have to try readin that Hawkings book again. The book should just have an FAQ on time travel cause when ever ya bring up time travel the first question outta everyones mouth has to be in regards to that somehow.

Later I told Erin about it and she found it funny. I thought about tellin her mom too. Just like, “…and then I repeatedly kick her hahahaha, ya get it!?”

*Jaw Agap* “…..”

“HA! Get it!? I was thinkin about punching yer feeble elderly grandmother in the face! Haha! Ya get it!?”

I think when the film about my life comes out, Gramma X2 J will be played by a 24 year old black man. And Erin will introduce him “You remember my gramma Darnell”

Then will squint at each other and go play basketball, and then will break out in song and lament how much we enjoy Grape Crush.

Another idea I was havin, here follow me. So what I do is I get psycholgists to pay me upfront for buisness Ill send there way. Then I live it up and buy a monkey. Then I start tellin people, “Hey swing by the liquor store.”

“Why?”

“I need to get some whiskey to wash down the sleepin pills”

Then, since Im never serious, everyone shakes there head and oh they chuckle. I do this to everyone I know, kill myself, have the funeral sponsored by different psychologists (complete with stickers on the casket like a nascar) everyone sad cause they didnt see it comin and then BAM the therapists reap the whirlwind of guilt.