Who the fuck would marry Janet

We ate mushrooms and watched keriokee in honor of…I dont know…like Jesus er somethin. Not the boney son of god, but that mexican guy from the Big Lebowski.

“Ill stick that gun up your fucking ass and pull the trigger till it goes Click”
“….Jesus”
“Jew said it man…dont fuck wit da Jesus”

So yea it was awesome. But to be fair what isnt awesome on hallucinigens. And there was only like 3 people besides us at the bar. We were lookin through the song book and they had Im a Little Teapot.

“DUDE they have Im a lil teapot. Its a sign!”
“A sign of what?”
“…Just sing the fuckin song.”

So my friend sang it. That was neat to watch. Then I got to sit in my bathroom with Erin and watch her puke fer an hour while I played with a shampoo bottle and encouraged her. “Good job..ohhhh that was a good one” Speakin of that that chick is gettin clingy. She never wants to leave. Fer all you people who are normal lookin and your christmas wish is that you were a thug badass who was really really hot…lemme tell ya, it has its downside.

Man I better be visited by some spirits or have some christmas miracle ala every Christmas movie on tv (Theres not gonna be a christmas….WAIT!) cause normally I love christmas but this year fuck it in its stupid evergreen butt hole. Im gonna sit home alone on christmas eve, drink jack, and feel sorry fer myself. I mean ya know what I got fer Christmas? It was a better fuckin year at the Devitt house. I got a carton…of cigarettes. Ol man grabbed me he said hey smoke up anndy!

I think my mom might think Im dead. Our phones dead and I havent talked to her fer like a month. Shes resorted to sendin me letters. But I havent opened em cause I dont care. Im gonna try to think of a time when shes not home so I can leave her a message tellin her Im not comin to christmas. And Ill have to make up a lie to tell my gramma and other people who invited me to christmas. Oh bother. I really need to fake my own death. But what a hassle.

And I got you guys christmas presents. Big package of Ebola fer all. Its this years tickle me Elmo.