Bengals won woot!

Ya know, some people just refuse to take a compliment. No matter how sweet you are. So I pick this one girl up and her parents want to meet me. Lil bizare but allright. So I go in and I charm em cause I mean I got that, and so then we leave. So were drivin and Im like “Hmm, yer moms kinda pretty. I bet itd only take like…3 beers for me to have sex with her.”

Fuckin sweet right. If someone said that to you youd say aww and melt. But no, not this chick. “Ugh…PLEASE…will you stop talkin about my mom like that, thats gross.”

So Im like damn allright, Jesus….10 beers to have sex with yer dad.

And STILL no thank you, she just gets angrier. I think that would make an outstanding card, On the front “Your gonna be pretty when your older” Then inside “It would take me __ beers to have sex with your mother.” Then fill in the blank. That SCREAMS Valentine’s day.

But fine though I hope fer some reason I get invited to her house fer Thanksgivin so I can be like Christ yer aunts ugly! That is one hideous bitch! And if she gets mad at me fer that Ill be like “Jesus….CHRIST!!!!!” and flip the table over. “THERES JUST NO FUCKIN PLEASIN YOU IS THERE!?! YOU WONT BE HAPPY TILL IM DEAD WILL YOU!!!! WELL FINE, HERE!!! WHY DONT YOU JUST TAKE THIS KNIFE AND JAM IT INTO MY FUCKIN HEART!!! JUST JAM IT FUCKIN IN!!!!”

Then Ill thank everyone politley for dinner and leave.

I bet theyd think about me fer every Thanksgivin after that. OH better yet if I do it at christmas time maybe Ill leave such an impression that theyll make an ornament of me. If there really religious maybe even worship me as the patron saint of uncomfortable silences and unecassary anger. Score.