Wipe that golden tear…

From your mother dear
And wave what’s left of the flag
for me.

Welllll, god damn, guess what. I got married. Sounded like a really good idea and it just happened. I didnt even think about it at first, I just know I love this girl.

Allright I made that up, but, dude, Im gonna be a friggin dad. Hoooooooly shit that is just crazy. Like its just now sinkin in. Allright that was a lie too

BUT! In all honesty…I killed a whore. I think her name was Lilac . I remember goin to that hotel, $15 for stinky pinky, $7 happy endin. And man…man, it just all went black after that. I dont even know. I wanna do the responsible thing. She has 24 kids, I kinda feel like I should take care of em. I mean its hard fer them, I understand. Ya know Im not there dad. The bastards throw it in my face every chance they get. “YOUR NOT MY REAL FATHER!!! That one guy I met that one time is.”

But Ill be damned, you mark my words, make bank on the followin statement, dont count yer chickens before there heads are cut off, dont touch my nachos, dont even try makin an omlet without breakin some god damn eggs, But I dont care fer omlets. I dont care for eggs much actually. Like 4 times a year Im like dude eggs sound good, I should have eggs. Then I get sick. Oh maybe Im allergic. Or maybe thats my conscience eatin at me fer eatin at a fowls embryo. Meh, lil from column A, lil from column B. Where was I goin with this? Oh yea, dont trust whitey. Thats my advice now somthin I didnt make up but woulda if given the chance.

Good morning students! I was just thinking, as your principal, we should have an informal chat, a rap session if you will. Now does anyone have anything they want to talk about?
Well I was just thinking…
SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!
Strangers with Candy, Best writing ever, aside from me. Oh lord, blatant racism, stallinesgue pictures all over the school of the principal, and a horny 47 year old crack whore high school freshmen, thats my kinda tv.