I got a vagina! Woot
Ive done so much laundry today Im growin a vagina. But Im growin it on my shoulder its awesome! Im gonna keep my keys in there.
Im wearin cargo pants today! Woooo! I look like an Old Navy commercial. Ya know if humans had pouches like marsupials we wouldnt even neeeeeeed pants.
Im totally ditchin this chick this weekend to get drunk and learn how to play Axis and Allies. And yea Im gonna be Germany and be all like yea whats up other countries! Hitler in da hizzie! Whats my name! Schlieben! Im hitler! Schnell fucker! And also cause I was just talkin to her and I was funny and she didnt laugh. Fucker. Oh ok yer funnier than me MAKE ME LAUGH THEN FUNNY GIRL! HUH! GO ON THEN! SPLIT MY SIDES BITCH!
Mannn, I didnt sleep and had an interview at 8 and then downed coffee so Im uber tired but shakey and cant sleep. And Im like lonely but dont feel like bein around anyone. I just feel like layin around and puttin Dark Side of the Moon on repeat.
Jesus this was pointless. Yer all dumber fer havin read this. Meh but in most of ya bastards cases, no one will be able to tell the difference.
Im in such a weird mood I think Id yell at my monkey if I had one. Id glance over and hed be starin at me and Id be like
“……What the fuck are you lookin at. Fuckin simian. Yer not so great. Oh whats that monkey? You like this show? Yea well to bad Im gonna change the channel now with my dope opposable thumbs.”
And the monkey would just look at me like Ohhhhhh that one was low ya son of a bitch. And then I actually would kinda feel bad, cause sure we have our differences but there is a line and some things you cant take back. Thered be a rift between us after that. Then hed chew my face off while I slept. And then id get beatified by the pope and obtain sainthood cause a guy in a bed with a rabid monkey hoverin over his head would make the COOLEST fuckin stained glass window ever to grace a cathedral.
You are the craziest to read when you’re stoned. You have no idea.
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lmao!!!! thats gotta be the funnyest shit ive ever heared!!!!
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…monkeys have oposable thumbs. actually, they have them on their feet too, so I guess they’re 2 thumbs up ahead of us… haha get it? two thumbs… up… sorry.
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what, the steel toe of your stupid brazilian size 40 million sandals? yeah, lemme suck on that. Hmm. the game was f8cking depressing. *sigh* lemme kiss your shoulder.
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You were wearing cargo pants yesterday silly…or did you just wear them again today? I bet you did…yeah…Im thinkin yer like that…
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It’s uhh November 6th, 1945 and we… went up to… and uhh, back to the house and watched MTV… and playin’ Pac-Man… it’s all really gross and all the kids were diseased… giant airplanes, uh, crashing underneath… electro-magnetic fuse… guys with flamethrowers… melting… taco trucks were crashed… there was sausage meat all over the… Sasquatch was eating a burrito
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they have cream for that.
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oh, come on – you know the judge dredd stuff made you laugh – and renaming mexico ‘judge dredd comes here to party’ cuz it’d boost tourism? struck me funny as HELL, bloodninja. f*ckoff. AND my computer wouldn’t work the ‘WWUJD’ properly. Meh. ryn: whatever. cream this. stick your keys in it. yeeeah, like that. ooh, now scratch really hard, it itches right…..THERE! YES! fake laugh, etc. etc.
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annnnnnnnd, do you have any idea how annoyin it is to have to type your god damn 14 letter name in every time I wanna come here and burn you? start signin your stupid notes. yeah, signin. not singin. that’s MY job, mothermakelover.
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It’s always important to be nice to your monkey. Do unto your monkey as you would have him do unto you. Wow that sounds dirty… or maybe its just me.
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rofl! church service would never be the same. honey are you ok?
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haaaaaha that’s hilarious – I wanna have sex with an 8 year old boy – NSI – classic. A material. except you didn’t do it on purpose. that just makes it classic YOU.
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annnd you said “Don not” make fun of your strangesensation name – and I wanna make a Barney Fief joke here – but I’m drawing a blank. or maybe the Apple Dumpling Gang….hmmm. Ok, too much effort, and you’re not worth it.
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that blockbuster one was my favorite – and rolling george lucas’ house, too. and nothing, absolutely nothing about you is fascinating.
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HOLY COW AXIS AND ALLIES!!! hahah! MY FRIENDS PLAY THAT – WELL MADISON FRIENDS THAT IS
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