Sit and drink pennyroyal tea

So theres this chick in my philosophy class Hot girl, hottest girl Ive ever seen. Like so hot Ive concluded she has to have done porn or Ida seen her in like maxim er a movie. So Ive been studyin this girl. Not in the weird creepy restrainin order way more like in a skinhead bumpin into a tan guy with the last name Scholnick and tryin to figure out wether he should yell JEW! or BEANER! when he beats his ass. Actually not in that way at all I just like that analogy. So first time I was sittin next to her and was lookin at her tattoo. I thought no point of even trrrrrryin hittin on this chick, Im a lil hot lil guy, but still though clearly outta my league. Maybe, MAYBE if she was super durnk shed want me. And even then itd be like her whisperin “I wouldnt normally say this but Ive always had a fantasy of seein a guy go down on another guy.” Thats about as far as itd get.
So I ask her what her tattoos a symbol of. And shes all smiley and says its my sign Im a piscies, do you have any tatoos. Just super nice. And then I started thinkin ya know, in high school this is the way the popular humanatarians talked to the retarded kids. Oh you have red shoes, ohhhh those are cool. And I started thinkin you bitch!

So then the next time I saw her she was sittin by herself and theres people around her and shes just lookin around all quiet and no one will talk to her. ANd then I felt bad fer her. Like awwww poor hot girl, no one to talk to cause everyones too intimated to make small talk with you. And then I felt like maybe in the first conversatin I was the popular humanitarian girl and she was retarded. Makes ya think huh. You god damn right. I also thought well allright maybe she was really ugly at one point and she turned hot quickly and still looks in the mirror like “Look at me Im so ugly! These pert breasts, flat tanned stomach, pouty model lips, giant blue eyes, firm ass, super slim. Who could ever love this…this…abomination!?”

Then tonight she was all alone again so I just kinda said whats up. So we talked fer awhile and she told me she was a singer and she was tryin out fer this role in some play I never heard of. And then like right after that we had to go inside and I was like oh cool Ive seen a couple musicals sounds neat. And she was like really here call me and maybe I can get you in.

Aint that some shit! Dude….dude that is some shit. Wow I mean beauty is only skin deep but looks are forever.

So Ive had time to think about it now.
Conclusions. Best case scenario, shes so hot but doesnt realize it (score baby work yer low self esteem)

Probables.

She wants to kill me in my sleep.

She thinks she can get me to kill her husband. Ala every Meredith Baxter Berney Lifetime movie minus the eating disorder.

She has various criplin problems that have make her just LOATHE any type of sex and Ill become her emotional tampon.

Obvioius reality. She has a penis

And here bonus fo you, an excerpt from “Retardation, a Celebration”
“…Although the retarded dont have the strength of apes, dont lock eyes with them. They dont like it, it puts them on edge. They may go into berserker mode and come at you in a whirl of fists and elbows. Youll be screaming, No, No! But all theyll hear is who wants cake? And let me tell you something, they all do. They all want cake. The important thing to remember is theyre just like you and me.”