Ping

 

Once upon a time, or perhaps as many times in a day as one can imagine, there was a fly. He was a great fly, born in the greatest land to be a fly, the Outback. Here is a picture of Ping:

 

 

 

 

Of course, every fly is special, but Ping was especially quick and fast. He grew up very privileged in the splendor and affluence of a spacious kangaroo carcass located on a dry river bed. Among the 500 siblings he grew up with, Ping was the quickest and fastest.

 

 

 

 

He was named Ping after he showed he could fly to the long abandoned plow and back faster than all his brothers and sisters. Ping is a shortened version of the Aboriginal name for lightning, ‘ping-gun’.

 

 

 

 

As a young adult, Ping traveled far and wide. He enjoyed savoring the rarest of delicate flowers, the warmest and freshest of dung heaps, and the largest of carcasses. He was particularly proud of himself when he was the first fly to arrive at a fresh kill by dingos.

 

 

 

 

One day he met another special fly. This fly was over 30 days old (60 years in fly years), and had experienced many things that Ping had never heard of. With his wrinkled wings, graying hairs, and bent mandibles, he told Ping of the greatest delicacies he had ever tasted, human food! These delicacies, he told Ping, were located in the house at the sheep station, in a special room called a kitchen. There were many obstacles and hazards to get there, but once there, all manner of fabulous tastes could be found all over.

 

 

 

 

Ping decided at once that he must go into the kitchen. The old fly warned him that he should taste everything as quickly as possible, then immediately leave, as no fly had ever returned from the kitchen who had been there for more than five minutes. Undaunted by the old fly’s warning, Ping immediately started on this adventure. Within the first minute, Ping found a hole in the screen of the front door. Ping was quite the quick fly, you see. Before another minute had expired, Ping was perched on the kitchen table, surveying endless mountains of human food!

 

 

 

 

Ping tasted everything and it was wonderful! He sat on dish after dish, plate after plate, and glass after glass. It wasn’t long before he started tasting the humans. He started with the cook, tasting her nostrils, rubbing himself in her

ears, and licking her lips. Humans were even more delicious than their food! “People are what they eat!” he exclaimed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ping found humans to be incredibly slow, too. Slower than kangaroos, slower than sheep, and even slower than emus! He would wait until human hands were waving at him, then deftly pick his way through their fingertips. What fun! He figured he must be quicker and faster than the old fly that told him about this place. Ping figured he had nothing to fear in the kitchen.

 

 

 

 

 

At the end of the table sat an old man who dressed and looked a little different than the others. Ping figured he might taste a little different, too, especially with his wrinkled face, graying hair, and sagging jowls. Easy pickings. Ping decided to sit right in front of the old man to test him… just for fun.

 

 

 

Poor Ping. He didn’t know that the old man had grown up in a land where mosquitoes were the dominant insect. Children in this land grow up not letting ANY bugs light on them. As a matter of fact, this old man carried a FLY SWATTER!

WHAP!!!! …and that was the end of Ping.

Moral of the story: Please help me here with your note!!!