Lamb

Udder had a little lamb

It was tender and easy to swallow.

Then everywhere that Udder went

Some nasty flatulence was sure to follow.

B cooked up some lamb stew the other day. I can’t recall if I have ever eaten lamb before, but I suspect that I hadn’t based on my reaction to it. The same thing happens when I eat kangaroo. It does make me wonder if I can acclimate to it. We are what we eat… or we become what we eat?

I’m almost sure that meat is what causes people’s gasses to really stink. An old GF used to pound that into me, and I remember arguing with her against it. Silly me. I guess the proof is in the pudding. It endlessly amazes me how much better a woman’s olfactory senses are than a man’s. A good nose would certainly be helpful in raising children. …wine-making and drug locating. In regards to medicine, smelling has become a lost art. But I digress.

Someone just the other night told me that women have worse smelling flatulence than men. Is that because they can hold it in longer? Is that something something worth boasting about?

There was an ancient Chinese philosophy that believed that flatulence was entirely unneccesary and was something worth endeavoring to avoid. I looked that subject up in Google, but came up blank. Another lost art. Sometimes I think mankind is really getting dumber by losing touch. But I digress.

Anyway, I’ll take this golden opportunity to reacquaint myself with my invisible friend, Asshole. It’s so much more than pure, plain old physiology. It is the subconscious speaking out in the only way it can. In the midst of chaos, the timing of flatulence can be viewed as impeccable and precise. It sneaks up on us when we least expect it… and gives us the opportunity to include what the subconscious thinks in our decisions. For lack of time and space, now is not the time to list the categories that each type of flatulence falls into. After all, categorization too often permantently distorts our beliefs, or reality.

From my personal experience, flatulence can occur at any time. In an instant, we have about 15 seconds to let it speak… or forever disrupt the current thoughts we were entertaining…

Good grief! I’m writing about flatulence again. Is this what Spirit wants me to communicate to the world? Is that the purpose of my life? Do I dare post this drivel as an entry?

[BBBBBBBBRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPP!!!!]

Unknown Author

December 12, 2011

pretty background kaleidescope

Watcher of Freedom

Are you over on the west coast again? Unusual weather, but it won’t be so tough for you, I guess. 🙂

Nectar

your in aussie toilet humor at its best. God didn’t take you long to conform to there wasted mirth you should try our country instead Better less waste no toilet humor and lamb is a delicacy and should not hurt your stomach… xxxx oh I forgot Aussie lamb would not be tender like ours… probably like old boots….

RYN: enjoy the lack of flies while it lasts – I estimate another week and a half – that’s when I knock off for my holidays. 😉 Australian spring lamb tough? Good lord, what ignorance 🙂 If you must eat meat, it’s not too bad – and less likely to be factory farmed.

December 13, 2011

ummmm, don’t they use boots…. and it is australia lamb that tastes like old boots… not ours! so look in our neck of the woods… sheep toughen when that happens- harden up, no pun intended

Eclectic Pandora

December 15, 2011

The first time I had lamb I got the WORST GAS EVER. Sharp pains, doubling over; it was HORRID. I think it depends on the person’s body chemistry and how they process things. I say this because after my surgery on 10/31 I haven’t had meat and my…waste is still gross. Sometimes grosser than I remember it being when I was able to eat meat!

TradCathMom

December 16, 2011

I must have made a wrong turn because it really stinks in here. Phew!