Up on stage.

haha we’ve just spent this evening at the laughter lounge…the comedy night at my university. How friggin’ embarrassing. Nicole and Laura walked in first and chose the table…one pretty near the front…with nothing separating us from the steps to the stage. What does this table say to you? That the comedians will leave you alone and that you WONT have to go on stage?? NO. IT DOES NOT! It says that one of you will get picked on. and who will that be? Lauren. Yes.

So one of the comedians calls me on stage to be a ‘volunteer’ – the blonde lady with the glasses. ‘noooooooo!’. So I go up. He’s a magician as well as a comedian and he is in the middle of doing a trick where it looks like he’s shoving some massive needles through his arm. I have to go up, check that he has nothing on his arm that would make it fake (I notice what he’s doing and points to his wrist so that I check there but he’s actually got the plasticine nearer his elbow and that’s where he’s going to do the trick and I decide not to ruin the trick and say there’s nothing wrong with his arm – side note: he had really smooth skin on his wrist). Then he makes me spit on a flannel. I do it once and he says it was a pathetic attempt and that he wants to see bubbles and I have to do it again (which is quickly followed by a comment that I am a dirty cow). He ‘cleanses’ his arm with my spit before doing the trick then says “now do my cock…go on…spit on it…I undid your flies for you so you’re ready”. At this point I go bright red and do up my flies…

He shoves the needles ‘through’ his arm and makes fake blood spill all over the stage. Then I have to pull the needles out for him. Man…embarrassing. Was pretty funny though. I loved the way he said my name…kinda rolled off his tongue (oh yes, he was cute and oh yes I would’ve spat on his cock (:P) ).

For the rest of the night, if I went to the bar or went to the toilet people were giving me those half smiles and I was like *hides face* ‘oh my god’. and just as we got back…coming up in the lift on my own…some guy gets in (with dreds and a tooth missing) and says “aaaw…by the way…I thought you were really good on stage tonight” *blushes*

I could’ve killed Laura and Nicole for choosing that table. I ALWAYS get picked on with stuff like that. Oh and all 4 comedians make Norfolk jokes – about where I come from *rolls eyes* every single comedy show they make Norfolk jokes…while I admit they are funny, they get a tad old.

*sighs and laughs slightly* I’m half famous for now around campus. *dies of shame*

On a less positive note, we just came back to find that George, my next door neighbour here, is now being rushed to hospital. His face has all swollen up and turned purple. Wouldn’t be surprised to find out he’s caught a bug from how disgusting this kitchen is. Maybe the boys will learn now. Maybe not. Hope he’s alright either way, bless him.

Back to real life.

Lauren xxx