Night night, Grandad Bob

My grandad went to sleep today after a nearly 3 year battle against cancer. It eventually got the better of him as his heart failed at 11.20 this morning. He has been suffering the past few weeks and especially so in the last few days. I wouldn’t wish him back to go through more of that pain.

I was called away from my friends to look after the dogs while my grandad and nan were at the hospital. I was alsmost immediately called away to go to the hospital because he was about to die. He was dead before I arrived. I spent the next few hours sitting by his body with my nan. My mum and dad were popping in and out (neither of them really wanted to see his body but wanted to be there for my nan). I have spent the rest of the day sitting at my nans.

My mum said I have been a rock today. I hope I have. I made it my job not to cry too much, to be there with my nan when the nurse told us what we had to do next…to stroke my grandads hand…to hug my nan. I never left her. My mum and dad had come straight from work. They went home to get changed after a while. I stayed at my nans while she tried to get an hours sleep. My mum was in pieces so I tried to relieve the pressure for her to watch my nan. I haven’t had my turn to cry yet but I will…when I get some time alone I’ll let it out.

I want to record everything about today. I want to tell you all about my grandad and what a wonderful person he was. I want to explain how much I am going to miss him. I want to record EVERYTHING…but I don’t feel my mind is quite up to it.

He is in peace now. He’s sleeping and comfortable. This is a good thing but it hurts like hell…

Sleep tight, Grandad…I hope they have lots of whiskey and icecream in heaven or wherever you are. I hope you felt me holding your hand after you’d left us.

Lots of love, your youngest grandchild, Lauren xxxxx