I should be at home

I went back to Cambridge yesterday to work and to sort some things out in my uni room. I got a pretty early train that gave me about an hour and 20 to get to work. So I strolled towards my uni, went through the little park on the corner and the whole way there I was thinking, “I’m happy”. I love living in Cambridge. I really, really love it. And I was happy because I know there is always a place for me back home in Lynn. And I was also thinking on the train..Jordan once said that he likes to travel backwards on trains because you should never turn your back on a place. And I’ve done that since I’ve been at uni. Well, I travel facing Cambridge. I don’t want to turn my back on Cambridge…

But then…I got home and I felt guilty. This is not the time for me to be happy somewhere else. I should be at home. I should be seeing my grandad as much as I can. I should be with my dog who’s not going to last much longer. I should be making things better between me and my family. I just should be at home….but…I’m not happy here. Never here would I walk along, on my own, trying to stop myself from smiling because people are looking at me like I’m crazy.

I’m here until roughly the 29th January…

Lauren x