poor

Well I’m feeling a tad better about things right now. It doesn’t help everyone thinking I’m panicking about my work. I walk into my lecture today and I lipread Julie saying “Here’s Lauren. She must be feeling a bit better” and as soon as I sit down Helen says “Have you caught up on any sleep?”. I didn’t btw. I got so bored at just after 5am that I had a shower. Things aren’t that bad. I’m just tired. I must have facial expressions that i don’t realise I’m doing because if there’s something little bothering me that I don’t mind people knowing, people start to worry and panic and keep asking if I’m alright.

Well anyway, had a good lecture today. It was all about the anatomy of the eye and this module normally pisses me off coz the stuff is irrelevant but this was cool. I handed in my assignment I’ve been working on for ages. I say ‘working on’ I mean looking at and then realising I haven’t done anything for 3 hours. I atcually did some work to it yesterday and it’s not very good but it’s done. Handed in. I also got my last assignment for that module back. I did that one the night before it was to be handed in too. I was aiming for the 40% pass mark. Got 64% and Helen who spent weeks on hers and handed it in early got 68%. hah.

I think I just feel better coz I’ve got ONE assignment out of the way. What’s the date? Now I have 8 days to get 2 more done. Well, less really because the queues on the 15th will be ridiculous and I don’t wanna risk getting to the desk after 3pm and getting zero. And then I have until the 18th to do 2 more. I will NOT leave these til the last night. Well, I will but for today I’ll pretend I wont so I can feel a bit better.

I now officially have no money. Well, £5.13. That gets me one packet of fags. I have no food. I can last about 6 days. Well probably longer because I haven’t had dinner for the past 4 days. Living on biscuits. So I can go a few more days with out eating. It’s cool.

OK, all of a sudden I’m crying. Jordan rang me and I just turned into a baby. I dunno why. I guess I am still stressed even though today hasn’t been that bad. I’m just tired. So so tired. I feel like a broken record…

lauren