11/19/06 (editted)

Man I’m homesick.

I went back home this weekend for Emily’s (one of my best mates) birthday. I took Nicole (my best uni mate) back with me so she could meet my friends and see my home town. Had a wicked night. Met up with loadsa mates from home. was great to see loads of the people who were about. Emily, Rachel Stevens, Ella, Jack G, Tom R, Joe P were the main people around me. And Johnny. Ginger Johnny who I last spoke to just before my 18th birthday party. Weird.

Anyway, we were in the club and I was talking to Nikki and I glanced over to the dance floor. Ella, Rach and Emily were dancing and laughing and looking so happy. It just really hit me how much I miss them…how much I love them. Fuck I miss them.

Good thing though – Jordan is sticking around. Even if he wont write about it I will. He’s got a new job in London and things are good because he’s not disappearing back to Wales.Not that we wouldn’t’ve coped if he had but it’s just a hell of a lot nicer knowing he’s close and staying close.

I’ve had a LOT of thoughts about cutting. I started to cut but only have a few little scratches. I talked to Jordan about it and I think he understands a little more now. I may just need to have a few weeks cutting and then I can stop again. I know that sound slike I’m starting again and I can’t be assed to convince everyone reading this that I’m not starting again but…believe me, this is a temporary thing and if Jordan understands and believes me…I’m not just saying it, right?

blah. just blah.

Lauren

EDIT: in other news I got a new piercing. My rook of my right ear. Some say piercings and tattoos are a form of self harm right? I’ve been wondering. When I need to self harm more I seem to get even more enthusaistic about piercings