So confused.

Man, I’m so confused. I just don’t know what to do. I need to get it over with. But I can’t leave him when he’s like this. And…it’s my birthday. Is that selfish to do it near my birthday? urgh I don’t know. And Hubbard. My friend Hubbard text me earlier saying that she had a great time last night and that she bought my presents (plural) today and she’s really excited about it. She’s gone to so much trouble, and she’s making me a jelly coz she knows I loved the pig shaped jelly we had at her sleepover. And she’s just so excited about making me happy. I really really love my friends. So much, it is unbelievable. *starts to cry again* Man, I can’t put this off for much longer, I just can’t seem to force myself into being selfish this time. I don’t know what to do. I’m so confused.