We shall see

I’ve had a very hectic day. I was at work 10.30-7 and there were a million jobs to do and a million customers to serve. The amount of times I heard the words "I know you’re busy but…" OH MY GOD. STOP SAYING THAT! I wont bother explaining all the crap that I had to do at work today. It sucked majorly but it was kinda fun really. well it was once I went and bought Dolly Mixtures Jelly Beans Shrimps and Bananas and gummy sweets for us to eat once the old boring people went home at 5.30 lol Then I got no work done and was on  the Debs department instead of my own picking outfits for my mate Roxy and me for the 8 parties we have to go to over september and october. woop woop. but im gonna be so poor.but woop for parties.

I cut pretty bad last night. bah I suck. It was pretty difficult to get it to stop bleeding. man, I know I’ve ceased in my attempts to quit cutting but I wish I could stop being idiotic with it. I used to have it under control (or as under control as needing to cut can be) but now I just get carried away. blah. I guess the only way is to stop. no trying to stop. just stop. but not yet. i dont want to yet and if i dont want to i wont do it because im not determined. but its ok. i only have about 20 cuts now and if i cut tonight i wont do it on my ribs because they are swollen and sore from those 20. but *takes deep breath* its ok. It’s cool. ChinUp right?

The previous entry is a very first draft. It’s going to change completely. *nods to Henry* thanks to some suggestions that lead to big ideas from a certain person when he was restless with nothing to do. It;s weird. I haven’t written poetry in so long and all of a sudden (when I buy a new notebook for poetry and imaginative writing) I’m on a role and ive written the first drafts of 2 poems and 1 peice of writing in the last 2 days. and i have a coupld of ideas that im extending. weird. I’m really in a writing mood now. although i wasnt too pleased with the one i posted (which is why i posted it…to get suggestions) but meh we shall see. i hope it lasts because i love being in the mood to write.

I should go now. It’s late. 1.47am to be exact.

I’ll talk on MSN forjust a little longer lol and then I’ll be going to bed. I want to cut again tonight but I’ve started to be honest with Jason about it now and he’s not happy. *sigh* 3 days in a row when i havent done it properly for ages is a bit much i guess. we shall see.

Nightfaceness

Love Lauren xxx