Dear Henry

Dear Henry
I’m glad we chatted when you were drunk the other night. It did clear the air between us a bit. But there’s still something niggling away inside me that things aren’t right.But, I think it’s on my part that the problem lays. I’ve made a very important decision. well, I made it a long time ago but I’ve started to put things into action. Started to do  the things I wanted before I do it. The first being break up with Jason. So…I think the problems between us lies in my inability to open up right now. To be honest, I’m scared. I’m scared that this is finally happening. I’m scared that people are starting to hate me. I’m scared that you will hate me. And I’m scaredyou will change my mind. Half of me wants you to. Half of me wants you to tell me that i’m being a silly cow and that I should just get my act together. But the other half of me wants to remain the stubborn me that I am and get it over with.

The fact is, I love you Henry. You’ve done so so much to me and I could not even imagine what the past god knows how long would have been like if you hadn’t’ve been there keeping me in check. i think i would’ve had a nervous break down or something. but things have changed. I need to do things on my own now. I need to stand on my own two feet and make my own decisions. I dont want you to think i don’t appreciate you as afriend.a best friend. I truely honestly do. I adore you for who you are and all you’ve done. But, this is just the second part of what I need to do.But I need to step away from you. I don’t know whether to say sorry. I’m saving you so much trouble lol and letting you concentrate on your precious Michelle. (when i read this thru that sounded sarcastic.but it’s not meant to be) So no. I wont say sorry. I don’t think I’ve made much sense thru this and I don’t think I’ve got my point across at all.

I need to step away. You and Jason mean so much to me. Too much. I can’t do this while I still talk to you both. I’m tempted to delete MSN right now. But I don’t want to. I don’t know whether I’m scared of making stopping talking to you and Jason permanent. Or if it’s just the massive part of me that doesn’t want to do it beating the small part of me that knows it’s the right thing to do. I dunno. either way…bye henry

All my love,
Lozzo xx