It’s Good to be Back

Wow…..*looking around*

This is very surreal. I mean, I can’t believe OD is really back. I don’t even know how I feel about it. I guess I’m pleasantly surprised? I never in a million years thought, when OD shut down, that it would ever be back. It was really hard to get used to not having this outlet. I tried Prosebox and Easy Diary but neither of them attracted the same group of people and I wasn’t ready to find “new followers” so without the interaction, it seemed pointless to write. I eventually gave up on writing online and decided to be satisfied with interacting with people via Facebook. But guys? I can’t tell you how many times I NEEDED this outlet. How many times I needed you guys and wanted to reach out but felt weird or needy or awkward. So many times I just wanted to write and write and write and get things off my chest. So many times I could sense you guys struggling and wanting to reach out but again, feeling like I might be perceived as nosey or drama seeking or that I’d just be rejected.

One of the nicest things about OD going away was seeing how loyal most of you guys were to accept my friend requests on facebook and the continuation of friendship I’ve had with so many of you. In spite of NOT having that ability to really delve deeply into each other’s thoughts and struggles, we still managed to remain friends. Even without OD, I’ve been able to see some of you marry, remarry, add to your family, graduate kids from high school, start new business ventures, and so many other happy and stressful and not so happy moments. I’m grateful that you all have allowed me to continue to be a part of your life, even if it was a more basic interaction. Thank you for proving to me that what we forged at OD was more than just that website – it was real, true friendships.

I honestly don’t know if I’ll get a subscription and stay here. I’m not sure if I’m at a place in my life where I’ll make this kind of investment, emotionally and time-wise. And I’m really not sure that we can ever truly recapture the magic of Open Diary, circa 2000-2000whatever. Does that make sense? Like maybe that time has just passed and it can’t be reclaimed as easily as our old diaries were. I definitely would love to catch up with as many people as I can, while I’m on the free trial, and if it seems like people are going to stick around and be active – well, maybe I will stick around. I honestly don’t mind paying the yearly subscription fee if this can be like it was. If I can get the same level of interaction and support. So I’m hopeful but not certain. I’m very excited to be back for now, though.