Peaceful End, Quiet Start

 I can’t think of a more peaceful place on Earth than inside a Chapel at night when everyone has gone and the lights have been turned down low.  

I wasn’t feeling well earlier that morning.  Whether it was because I had taken my medicine on an empty stomach or because my nerves were getting the best of me, it seems all I could muster for the first six hours of the day was a cup of coffee, a cup of soup and a good long nap.  My stomach was trying very hard to declare war on me, but in the end, I believe I won.  Not exactly an ideal way for a diabetic to spend half a day but the soup perked me right up.  

While most people I know were getting ready to ring in the new year by going to parties or settling down in front of the television to watch the ball drop, I nervously dressed into my new skirt and top (gifts from my sweet God-children), grabbed up my chapel veil and kissed my husband and children goodbye for the next couple of hours.  

It was an evening I had been longing for, and at the same time dreading, for well over a year.  

Reconciliation.  

What a wonderful, merciful gift from God!

Yet…

How humiliating.

It was to be a general confession.  The good priest led me through it, going carefully through the 10 commandments.  Before God I confessed my sins and the weight of the world, it seemed, lifted from me.

Afterwards, thanking Father for his patience and assistance, I sat down in one of the pews to thank God and ask Him for the graces I need to live a more faithful life.  

On the other side of the aisle, knelt a woman by herself, deep in prayer.  When she happened to look up and notice she wasn’t alone, she asked me if I’d like to join her in the recitation of the Rosary.  Together, in the quiet, peaceful Chapel, surrounded in candle light, with the faint scent of frankincense still lingering in the air, we prayed.

For me, it was the very best way to begin the last few hours of a very long and trying year.  The drive home was quiet and hardly a car was out on the road.  Those who were celebrating were already at their destinations and I seemed to have the roads to myself.  

I spent the last two hours of 2011 watching Allie and Wesley play games on the Wii while Cathy wished a Happy new year to her boyfriend online, Liz watched episodes of Bleach with her cousin Ash in her room, and my dear, tuckered out husband slept in our soft, warm bed.  Around 1:00 AM, after I called my Mom to wish her and Daddy a Blessed New year, the rest of us crawled into our beds and fell fast asleep.

The following morning I drug my reluctant and aching body out of bed, drank a cup of coffee, stuffed an apple in my purse, tried waking the children who’s ears were deaf in sleep and then, once again got dressed and headed out to Sunday Mass by myself.

Though it would have been nice, and a happy occasion for me to have my whole family with me at Mass, I can think of no other better way to spend the first few hours of the New Year than in the Majestic presence of our Creator and Redeemer.    How good it is to finally be back home!  🙂

So much have I missed in the last five years do to my own fault.  So much.

But God is good.  His patience is awesome and His mercy is incomprehensible.  I have been humbled in my littleness and raised up in gratitude.  Nothing else seems much to matter.  

It is my most ardent wish and hope that this year is one of goodness, light and joy – for us and for all of you who have spent this past year with me through the portal of this silly, little diary.

God Bless you all and Happy New Year!!