Part 2

This is the continuation from my last entry.  

*****

Mrs. M. had warned me how these people at "other" school would not only pry into private business but how they would lie and mislead as well.  Up until our current school attempted to make that unanounced home visit last Friday, I wouldn’t have pegged them for being the same.  As far as I knew, I had never felt that they had lied to me about anything, either.
 
While Liz fixed lunch for herself, Wesley and me, I picked up the large brown envelope containing Wesley’s Evaluation papers and sat down to read the whole report from front to back.  Most of the information was no real surprise to me, in fact, it confirmed much of what I already knew and had tried to get these people to see from the beginning.  This satisfied me much as, if you recall, their lame excuse for not doing the MFE a year ago when I first requested it was, "Wesley is a smart kid, he doesn’t need an MFE."  
 
The report covered most of the last two years with a few mentions of his performance in Kindergarten.  I was half way through all the papers when I came upon the incident reports describing Wesley’s behavior during 2nd grade and it was then that I had my proof.  It was only one incident, but I remember it vividly.
 
***At the end of the school year last year, six days before the last day of school, I had received a phone call from Mr. Hall, the school principal, requesting me to come to the school to pick up Wesley.  He had been suspended for the rest of the year for "hurting" a child.  When I arrived at the school, Mr. Hall met me in front of his office door and said, "Well, Mrs. L., the reason I called you is because apparently, Wesley pulled a chair out from under a little girl who fell to the floor and banged her elbow .  Don’t worry, she’s not badly hurt.  When we confronted Wesley about this, he didn’t show any remorse for hurting her.  He actually laughed when she said "Ow" and then laughed again when we confronted him about it.   We sent him to Mrs. J’s class to settle him down and he continued with his behavior.  Behavior like this could very easily result in serious injury or lead to other aggression and it’s our policy to ensure the safety of the children, so I think it would be in everyone’s best interest if we remove him from school for the rest of the year."

I walked away from that little meeting feeling stunned, hurt, angry and horrified that my son would go so far as to hurt a little girl and then laugh about it afterwards.  The image that was left in my mind was of a little brat, bully acting out in meanness and I just couldn’t comprehend that child being mine!  When Wesley and I got home, I yelled at him for being so mean, asked him why he would do such a thing and he said, "Mommy, it was just a joke.  It was Jessie, from around the corner.  We always play like that"  I explained that dangerous behavior like that wasn’t okay, no matter who it was and especially not something to joke about.  I told him he was lucky she only banged her elbow and not her head!  He cried then, saying no one loved him, and then ran to his room.***  

Reading the report, it stated that Wesley pulled a chair out from under a little girl and she almost fell.   ALMOST fell!!!!  No where in that entire report did it state that she DID fall, that she DID say "ow", or that she DID bang her elbow!!!!!  I immediately turned around and faced Wesley who was sitting on the couch eating his sandwich and asked him, "Wesley, remember when you pulled that chair out from under Jessie?  When you did that, did she fall on the floor?"  He looked at me and said, "Well, she almost did."

No wonder he laughed!!!  No wonder he felt no remorse!!!  Although it was an unacceptable act, according to school rules, there was no reason for him to feel remorseful, she didn’t get hurt!!!  Why didn’t my son defend himself?  I thought he was lying to me when he said, "She laughed too."  Now I believe she probably did!  They play like that all the time!  

I BELIEVED what that &*$%# principal told me – straight to my face and didn’t believe my own son!!!  

To say that I’m furiously angry over this is an understatement!!!  I have decided, right or wrong, I’m pulling Wesley out of that school NOW!  He won’t be able to go to school this Monday, anyhow, because of that meeting I have at 8:00 AM and the Doctor’s appointment we have later that day.  And after Monday, I may not have to worry about whether or not I acted too soon.

Because, there IS some good news in all this.
 
 
After Wesley, Liz and I ate lunch and we had about 20 minutes to go before we had to head back to the school, the phone rings.
 
Thank God, it’s the principal at Spectrum school!  I tell her everything I know, she has me look up the "code" number on Wesley’s evaluation – which I guess tells her what the final assessment is – and then says, "I certainly sympathize with what you and your son are going through, Mrs. L.  Do you know the name of the school counselor who did the evaluation?"  I tell her and then she said, "OH…okay."  It sounded to me like, "Oh, her!"  I was curious, but I didn’t press.
 
"Okay Lisa, this is what I can do," she says, "IF you can get that diagnosis of PDD confirmed by the Doctor – because without it, he wouldn’t be eligible – call me as soon as you get back from your appointment with Dr. B. to let me know.  I’ll give you my cell phone number so you can call me as late as 8:00 PM.  Then I want you to come out here on Tuesday, the next day, at 10:00 AM to meet with me.  I’ll look over the papers and if I feel that our school will be a benefit to your son, which I don’t see why I wouldn’t, I’ll explain our school policy, give you a tour of the school grounds and let you look in on a few class rooms.  Now, I have to warn you, we are nothing like the public schools.  We do things around here a lot differently.  I get many parents in here that have been referred to us who end up changing their minds once they see how regimented and strict we are about running this school.  So, once you learn about how things go around here, if you still feel that this is where you want your son to be, I’ll start the process of getting him enrolled and we should be able to receive him no later than the ninth of November."
 
I thanked her profusely and we ended our call.  

It was time to get Wesley back to school.  Liz wanted to see the Halloween parade and spend the rest of the school day with him, so, I dropped them both off at the school and got the heck out of there.  

When they got back home later that afternoon, Liz comes up to me and says, "Mom, you’re not going to believe this.  Mr. B. (Wesley’s teacher) came up to me in class after the parade and told Wesley to go to the other side of the room while he talks to me.  After Wesley left, Mr. B. say, "I don’t know if you know what’s going on about this thing with Wesley but do you know about us wanting to get him to transfer to "other" school?"  (What the hell business does he think it is of hers?  She’s his sister, for crying out loud, not his guardian or parent!!)  Liz says she knows very well what’s going on and that, yes, she knew about what they were recommending.  He then asked her, "Well, I think it would be a really great thing for him.  I just can’t give your brother the kind of help he needs here.  It’s not that I don’t like the boy, he’s a good kid, but we’re just not set up well enough to help him and I really hope your parents will agree to him going to "other" school.  Have they said anything about it?"

Well, Liz sees right through him.  The guy is fishing for information.  She looks to him and says, "Well, we’re doing everything we can for him."  He says, "But are they considering it?"  She said, "My parents consider everything when it comes to their kids.  I’m sure they’ll think it over."  

I HAVE SUCH A SMART KID!!!!!  My God I love her!!!  She said just enough to satisfy his curiosity without giving away ANYTHING!!

Now, I don’t have enough reason to believe that Mr. B. is an evil person like the rest of the "powers that be," but I know they put him up to it.  It could be, too, that he’s just ignorant about "other" school.  After all, he has to work with these people.  Who knows what lies they may have said to keep him in the dark.  And he DID seem to have somewhat of a unfavorable attitude with how Mr. Hall handles things.  So, he may be in the know, yet he might not be.  All I am sure about is that Mrs. M. warned me these people are going to give me a rosy pink, sugar coated view of "other" school and, at the surface, it’s going to sound like these people are angels and just what my son needs.  She said, "It’s how they get their hooks in ya.  Once they real you in, that’s when you find out how murky the waters are and by that time, it’s too late, they dry to drown ya."

It could be argued that I shouldn’t just go on the advice of one person over the recommendation of several "professionals" and if that’s what anyone thinks, I have to say I agree with you.  However, Mrs. M. is an advocate for families.  She doesn’t work in the interest of the school board, the teachers, principals, or any other entity other than the families that are put in her care.  It’s been her job for the past 20 years to know everything she can possibly learn, to know the laws and to ensure that her families are given every opportunity and help they can get.  But, she’s not the only one who has had bad stories to tell me about "other" school.  I have spoken with at least three other people, both parents and professionals, who have reflected her views.  Also, when I spoke with the principal up at Spectrum, she was pretty much of the same opinion.  So, I need not worry that I’m making the wrong decision for my son.

It looks like today is going to be a very beautiful day.  It’s early yet, but I hope to be feeling well enough to get out there and enjoy some of it.  That is, IF I can keep myself from getting too anxious and stressed out over what I have to face tomorrow.  Seriously, it feels like I’m being forced to walk naked into a den of lions!

If I can, I’ll update Monday night to let you all know "The rest of the story," but, if I can’t (it’s going to be a horrendously taxing day for me), I’ll write Tuesday night.

Have a great Sunday, my friends.

Until next time….