August 29, 2005

Emotion

If you were to see me now, you wouldnt even be able to tell that I’ve been crying. But I don’t cry for myself. I cry for the people who can not cry for themselves.

Why you ask me? Because I care. I care too much. Sometimes I would like to climb the highest thing in the world and jump off neverlooking below me. Would I die on contact, or would I be the one that hangs on hurting the other people around me more than myself? Would I be the one who opens my eyes without seeing? Would I be the one who listens without hearing?

I have too much emotion. I wonder what would happen if I shut myself off permantly. Would any one notice, would anyone care? For the poor patheic life that has embraced my torutured soul? Would any notice?
I don’t think anyone would care. Im here to be the one everyone runs to with their problems. wold they even notice that I locked myself away presenting a shell for them?

No one cares. I learned to live with that fact. Now I have to learn to not care. Hiding my emotions has always been easy. But now I have to learn to have no outlets. NO emotion what soever.

~witch

wow. i totally understand that feeling. you could have been describing my soul, the way it was a few days ago.

stop f*cking being like that. you know i care. if you don’t, if you think i’m BSing you, why do you keep me around? i try my best to make you feel needed, loved, wanted. i DO need, love, and want you. but does it matter? no. will it ever? no. you need to at least make an effort to feel better. if not for me, then do it for you. you are the most important thing in my life, and i’m sorry if you

don’t realize it, but it’s true. godd4mn it, I LOVE YOU! so, please, please stop. confide in me. i AM here for you! i want a future with you. call me a hypocrite if you will, because i’m just as bad about not volunteering info about myself, but you’ve never asked me. i ask you. i just asked you again. please, let me be an actual part of your life, not just some little b1tch you call your love.