January 18th, 2011

Copied from tumblr.

I just ate way, way too much lasagna. I’ve been sick since Thursday, and my appetite has been funky as hell- nothing tastes right, I’m rarely hungry, and when I am, I completely lose my appetite after about 5 bites of food. So when I find something that tastes good and is going down easy, I’ll eat a normal portion and then feel completely stuffed because I’m not used to normal portions right now.

The plan was to eat and then take the dog on a run so he’ll stop giving me sad eyes, but now I have to sit here and digest awhile.

We might have a new shop. Maybe. Plans keep falling through. We’re all very stressed. All of the commercial property managers in this city are greedy assholes who would rather their properties sit completely empty (even though some of them have been empty literally for years) than give us a break on the price at all. Even though we’re an established business with a large client base willing to sign a 5 year lease. *sigh*
Anyway, this shop would allow us to not only not stress about the cost of rent, we’d actually be able to save quite a bit of money each month, which would be wonderful and could be used to do some awesome advertising and fun promos.

This job is basically my life. I hope that this all works out. I’m staying positive.

I’m really sick of being sick. Especially since I keep feeling better, for hours or even a day at a time, and think it’s gone, and then I’ll wake up the next day with a fever and chills again.

I really enjoyed my weekend despite being sick. I got to see my boy every day. I got to see my family. Yesterday I dragged myself out of bed, got dolled up, and took the bus to J’s entirely to get laid, and of course that’s always fun. I had on tight ripped jeans with fishnets underneath and the older man across the aisle from me on the bus stared, at my legs, the entire 40 minutes we were on the bus together. Haha.

Saturday, I got lost in the fog (literally. I had to find an address, call Jonathan, and have him look it up on Google Maps to tell me how to get home) and had a surreal, beautiful, terrifying, awesome experience, and I felt like I was in a movie, just me and my dog and miles of fog. I passed a playground filled with teenagers, probably getting stoned, but because of how thick the fog was, I couldn’t see them. I could hear them, though, their laughter and screams were filling me the air around me, the sound carrying in the fog to where you almost couldn’t tell where they were. It was beautiful and haunting, almost menacing. I could see the chains of the swings catching light, but couldn’t see the kids swinging. The whole experience, despite the fact that getting lost in the cold for a while made my fever come back way worse, was amazing. It felt like a dream then and it seems like it was a dream now. It was just one of those moments. I kept trying to capture the beauty around me with photos, but all I had was my crappy cell phone so they don’t look at all like what I was seeing.

Ok, time to get the bike ready and take the dog running. Having to bike to/from work (and everywhere else I go) is creating this new me that- could it be?- LIKES PHYSICAL ACTIVITY. I have seriously always wanted to be this person. I want to jog and bike and hike and be active and I’ve just never ever done it, and I really love the fact that I actually look forward to it now. I’m going to step it up here very soon, as soon as I’m not sick, and am probably going to do something like Couch to 5K. Who knows, maybe one of these days I actually will run a marathon.