Bus thoughts

Written a few days ago, just posting now.
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I’m on the bus on the way to work. The car has been scary and unpredictable for a while, so most days I get a ride in with my coworker/friend Jessica, but on the occasionally day she can’t take me, I take the bus. We’re a lot closer to Davis now, so the bus ride shouldn’t take nearly as long now.

I like the bus. I like watching random events and hearing conversations, getting occasional glimpses into the livs of people I don’t know and will probably never see again in my life. I like being able to read and write, and I love being able to smoke a bowl before I leave and listen to music and zone out the whole way.

I love my job, too…I wish we had a bit more dogs right now, because times are very tough and we almost lost the shop at the beginning of this month. I dream of working less and possibly making a bit more, but when it comes down to it, it’s so much more than just a job. I LOVE my coworkers- they’re a family, a close one, and I’m so glad I was accepted into the circle so easily. They’ve all been exactly what I needed the last few months- they make me laugh, listen to me cry, give advice freely, and know how to gently remind me of things I need reminders for. They understand that I’m young, but they also understand that I’m not stupid or immature and I know what I’m doing, and they treat me accordingly. They know exactly when to tease me and when not to, they know when I’m upset without me saying anything, and they care about the small details of my life that often get overlooked or lost in the chaos of life.

And Jessica always feels less like a gift and more like a gift that I was desperately needing. A friend who is close enough in age that we get along wonderfully, but old enough that she can give me advice, or tell me straight up when I’m doing something wrong, and I don’t take offense or get hurt, because I need that and she knows how to do it. She lost her mother as a teenager, too…she shares my love of people, of animals, of psychedelics and all things ganga, and she reminds me constantly of the type of person I want to be, both by example and by simply being very open and honest about things she’s done wrong, things she’s learned from, and things she wants to work on.

I’m getting all mushy now. I’m almost to work, it’s probably two stops away.

I’m trying to write more, if not publicly then at least privately. I’m trying to take more pictures. I’m trying to remember that in the middle of “My life sucks so hard right now”, that I have so many things to be thankful for everyday, and I have so many good things to remember about each day. I’m trying to focus on that.