Day 1 of 192

Continuity
I weigh 226 lbs and I have 192 days until 1 Sep 2013. Wedding is on 6 Sep 2013 and given how much weight I’ve put on I don’t think I have a numerical limit to how much weight I am aiming to lose. I’m going to do my damn best to make a short entry every day until that point. I do well with routines and lists.

Entry
I know I have a night of drinks tomorrow, out with the guys. We’re going “Ice Fishing”. That pretty much fits most of them who are married because they refer to having a night out with the guys as “making parole”. I’ll research the calories in pints and the like and prepare myself accordingly.

I swing back and forth regularly from confident to very worried about my job hunt. I’m greatly dismayed that I receive praise and confidence from experienced business people that I’ll get a job quickly with no doubt but have received but one request for an interview that wasn’t for a project management position. Fortunately my future-wife-thing has been very supportive.

Yesterday she went home back to the US for what could be the next 5 months. I don’t have her freezing cold body in bed with me at night, or her reminding me to take an allergy pill so I don’t snore at night and keep her up. No one is around to call me Snugglepoop, Da Cheat (think Homestar Runner), no one to make breakfast for in the morning. It is quiet here. It’s lonely here. I miss her boobs. I miss her smile, and eyes, and soft skin. We won’t be watching Netflix in bed before we sleep. I don’t have someone to sing in the car with (and by sing I mean pretend we’re cats where all the lyrics are “Mow!”).

I shovelled lots of snow yesterday and I ache. I am pathetically out of shape. I’ll work on more shovelling today, see if I can finish off the back.

God I want a job doing project management. My study group starts on Saturday morning, that’s something. I’ll need to go back into the armoury to get many print outs of many pay stubs to calculate what I was was working since 2008, to tally and prove my 4500 hours of experience to take the exam. My group finishes study prep at the end of May, I should be able to write in early June. I’ll be aiming for an A+.

Maybe I’ll be hired when I have that 5-yr designation. I’ll be boned by then anyway if I don’t have a job by then. Funding for the wedding will have to have been entirely borrowed from. I can’t even pay next month’s CC bills without borrowing. The joys of having zero income. Gah.

Come on weight loss!

*edit*
Breakfast: 403 cals
Lunch: 531
Dinner: 314

Total: ~1250

That’s as low as I dare go, and I don’t ever want to do two days like that in a row, but some kind of zig zag between that and say 1950, from here on in, I should see things through.

I only hope I’m not hungry again by bed time, I detest going to sleep on an empty stomach.