An old issue.

Man, my weight is really starting to bother me. I haven’t been on a scale in probably over a year, and I’m scared to even think about what it would say. Honestly, the last time I was on a scale I was pretty close to 200 lbs, and I have NEVER weighed that much, not even at full term with either one of my kids. I don’t know if it’s just that I take AWFUL photographs or what, but I feel like the way I look in the mirror is not how I turn out in photos, and I think that’s probably how OTHER PEOPLE see me.. some days I dont feel like I’m very big, and some days I feel like I’ve gotten smaller (even though my pants fit the same, etc) but over all, I definitely realize that I need to do something at this point.

The thing is, I don’t want to. I’m having a really hard time with my back/legs/feet/shoulders/hips, etc.. so standing and walking are very hard on me, it really hurts to walk or stand for more than 30 minutes.. this is probably contributing A LOT to my weight issue, to be honest. I also just eat what we serve at work, a lot, which includes a shit ton of non-filling, non-nutritional kid-crap, like Mac N Cheese, Hot Dogs, Corn Dogs, Grilled Cheese, PB&J, English Muffin Pizzas, etc. I realize that probably my weight is contributing to my back/leg/etc problems, but I feel like I’m stuck at a point where I can’t really fight it. I’m not *quite* sure what to do.

I’d really like to start swimming (just laps) a few times a week, but my schedule is too crazy for it to work out.. I just emailed a lady at UAF to ask her about the UAF pool schedule and fees, because it’s pretty close to work, so if I could go in there and do laps from 8-9, I’d be able to be at work on time at 10 and drop the kids off at daycare before hand. However, no one really likes it when I drop the kids off before I come in to work, because it increases the numbers in two of the rooms without increasing the employees on shift. This is mostly a problem in toddlers. I could also attempt to take a lunch break, but then I’d often be forced to choose between homework and swimming, and I’d also have an hour to work with, and have to leave and be back WITHIN that hour, leaving like 30 minutes to actually swim… :S 

I choose swimming as the task I’d like because 1.) it’s NO impact, so it wouldn’t hurt my back/legs/feet. 2.) I actually LIKE swimming. I HATE running, Im not big on sports, and like I said, walking hurts me. Biking hurts my back and my butt, and I don’t actually have a proper bike. Also, if I bike, I’d have to figure out a way to also bring the kids with me and there really isn’t anywhere I go regularly that is on any kind of convenient bike path….

so, swimming would be great, if I had time.

Also, I love food. I really do. I quite enjoy it. I don’t eat really super unhealthy stuff when I’m not at work, but I do SNACK a lot, and I do eat when I’m bored. All bad, I know. I’m thinking about maybe buying salad to keep at work during the week so that I’m not just eating 3 corn dogs for lunch twice a week. Then I could go home and eat my regular dinner stuff.. we usually make a meat, a pasta or carb side (rice, noodles, potatoes..) and a veggie, and a fruit for the kids. It’s pretty well balanced, but it also doesn’t last too long in my belly and I feel SUPER hungry a few hours later. I end up snacking a lot at night, and my one major vice is ICE CREAM. I LOVE ice cream. We go through a LOT of it. 

So. Problems: I don’t want to do anything drastic, I don’t want to be hungry all the time, I don’t want to feel like I’m not letting myself have anything I like, or that I’m taking away all my favorite things.. I just want to improve on both my eating habits and my activity level. 

It’s just figuring out how, that’s the issue. 

((PS- I can’t afford Weight watchers, I’ve tried Curves in the past and never been able to stick to it, plus I don’t have the time for it, now. There’s Body By Vi, which I’d really like to try, I think, but I can’t afford it…))