There’s a change in the winds

Well, I’m excited Christmas is around the corner, this will be our third Christmas as a married couple.  Things are a little better for us right now, and I’m glad for it.  I got a new job, I’m no longer with Bass Pro, and I start the 30th of this month.  It is dealing with the financial side of things again, but on the way home is the school I would go to, so I’ll just go after work.  And now that I have this job, I’ll be able to afford school.  I haven’t given up yet.

I’ve decided I don’t want to be a hermit anymore either, and have thought about calling some old friends up, seeing if they want to hang or get back in touch.  I don’t expect things will go over well at first, and they might give me grief about disappearing off the face of the earth for a while, but it’ll be nice to have a schedule that will allow me to have a life again.  I’m hoping to make more friends when I go back to school too.  I have distanced myself from people and society for so long that I’ve almost forgotten what it’s was like to have friends.  I was just so scared of getting hurt, but I don’t want to think like that anymore.  I’m kind of just sick and tired of feeling sorry for myself.  I want to start having fun again.

I’ve quit smoking for real too this time.  Haha, I think I’ve been trying to quit ever since I’ve started this diary!  What was that like, 8 years ago?!  Wow… long time!  Anyway, I want to start up some old hobbies, like writing and drawing, even reading music and maybe taking up some sort of instrument.  I want to start feeling like my old self again, before I was all sad and depressed about my parents divorce.  I think almost losing my dad this year to staph really opened my eyes about being angry and hateful about things…

Anyway, I just keep rambling, let’s see if I can do it!