11/25/2013*

My bathroom is finally clean. That took too much effort. I know I shouldn’t have let it get so bad, but I just couldn’t bring myself to clean it. There’s still a ring in the tub, but I’ll work on it again soon.

I forgot to mention, this friend of mine, Whitney, is the same one that bailed on me this summer for editing my erotica. I think that would suggest that she doesn’t want to have any sort of relationship with me. After giving the situation more thought, my plan is simple: I will tell her that I invited her over as a friend and that I have no intention of trying to start something with her. I’m then going ask her if she was thinking of starting something with me, just so all our cards are on the table. I’m sure she’ll say no, and we’ll move on and never speak of it again. In the long run, this is the best possible outcome. While I’m fairly confident that I would be able to have a physical relationship without complications (I’m not 100% sure if I can, but I’m as sure as I can be), I’m also sure that she has no interest in me. If she wants, I’ll explain that after speaking with some people about our conversations, history and recent events, that someone (a gay dude at my work, who also gave me some Playboys [long story]) suggested that she might be looking at me as a rebound relationship, and go on about how I would feel about that.

My goal is to make sure that we’re clear about where we stand and what we want so there aren’t issues later. I’m also going to tell her that if her feelings change, I need to know if we’re going to discuss living together as roommates. If she is interested in a relationship, we’re going to have to talk about it. I need to explain where I’m coming from; my baggage, fears and concerns, and she needs to tell me exactly what she wants and why she wants it. I will not be used and if she’s just looking to use me, I’m going to back away. I won’t be mean and I won’t hold it against her, but I will be cautious.

I need to get back to cleaning. More dishes need to be finished, what little area of the front room I can vacuum needs to be done and I need to clean the kitchen now that the bathroom is done. I also need to get smokes and atleast take a nap. It doesn’t help that my dad is suppose to stop by today, too.

I’ll update or write another entry after Whitney leaves. Because I’m sure you all want to hear about it.

Later, space cowboys.

Edit:
Well, my friend Whitney just left. I kind of fucked up because I fell asleep and didn’t wake up when she tried to get a hold of me so that didn’t start things out very well. But, we recovered quickly, and talked. I told her that I wasn’t trying to get in her pants and asked her if she was trying to get in mine. As I suspected, she isn’t. She’s not interested in that with me. And I am okay with that. She did mention that some of one of our friends thought that I was going to make some kind of move on her and I told her that some people (you know who you are) was suggesting to me that she was trying to make a move. She was less than pleased to hear that. Personally, I thought it was kind of funny. I do know her pretty well and knew that she wasn’t looking for that.

We had fun, watched a show, ate dinner and talked. That’s it. That’s all it’s going to be. And that’s okay.