Three: Abuse Survior

Oh, he’s under my skin.
Just give me something to get rid of him.
I got a reason to bury this alive
Another little white lie.

You Don’t Know Her</b

I’ll Be OkayI am going to my mothers today – the place that always triggers my Complex PTSD. When I was a young, I was sexually abused by a family member who was babysitting me. A few months ago, I found out that the exact same thing happened to my younger brother with the same member. It made me very angry. It also gave me somewhat closure because I always wondered.

I moved out of my mothers house when I was 19 and moved in with my boy-friend. Now 22, he and I moved out of our hometown about 2.5 hours away and are going to a University. It’s probably the best decision we ever made.

My mother loves me, and she knows nothing about my abuse. I don’t have the heart to tell her, or the nerve. I can imaging her blaming herself about having to work and not being there. Sometimes, I just want to tell her but I can’t. I haven’t been really talked to my therapist about it. That is why she is sending me a longer term facility, so I am able to heal. She believes it’s the root to all my issues; depression, eating disorder, anxiety, agoraphobia. I just don’t understand it.

Usually when I go up there, I have a major depression episode. Please pray that I don’t this time. I don’t know how I can handle it anymore.

Sincerely,
Katrina