I have a secret.

 Well, i guess it has been 2 years coming…

I made a counseling app for next Friday. i sort of ‘snapped’ while at a friends cabin last weekend. My sister pretty much yelled at me and said ‘if this is how you mind really is, you need to go’ 

I have been thinking about going obviously since everything happened. But it took that for me to call..for me to have myself mirrored back at me. 

I am scared. I am scared to go. Scared to deal with all of the hurt, all of the pain..all of the sadness. 

But I am excited at the chance to clear my head of all of this mess. Excited at the chance to stop the craziness. Excited at the chance to open myself up to Josh and be free of all of this STUFF. 

That’s all. I have more to write about, but that is all I want to say for right now.