Decisions.

I hate having to make important decisions way in advance.

On feb 3rd I have to pretty much decide what I want my living situation to be for next year. I mean…so much can change between now and then. I just hate having to try and feel my way around for things that have yet to surface. What?

So there are new campus apts opening in August..super nice but pretty damn expensive. I really want to live there. I guess I am willing to suck up the extra cost..but I keep having stupid thoughts in my mind. like how weird it will be to not just come upstairs to see Josh.

I mean I am getting ahead of myself to even think like that, but I can’t help it. I really should not let him be a factor in this decision process but…lol

Putting that stuff aside, things are great. the first week of classes was rough. I had a bad attitude the whole week, it’s like I was so nervous for the changes that I made it worse for myself on purpose or something. I also did a couple of stupid things I am not proud of (I am going to blame it on the drinks I had on those 2 separate nights) I don’t even want to write about it. The only person I talked to about it was Tim. not even my sister. It was a childish thing and I was/am mad at myself for doing it. But can’t go back. So yeah Josh and I had a talk and I felt so bad for being such a brat all week. I have to say I have been doing really good. It’s so much easier to just be happy and not let negative thoughts sit in my head. I swear this boy brings out the best in me..and I can’t describe how he does it. but I like it 🙂

I went to Vegas this past weekend..it was a pretty good time. I will admit I never had a strong desire to go there, but I am glad I went. I missed Josh a lot. The night I got back I could not sleep because I was getting to anxious about leaving for Maui for 2 weeks. I am a nut.

I have also made the decision to stop letting stupid facebook stuff get to me. I talked with Tim about it and some people just have that kind of relationship with their friends. I don’t..but a lot of people do. I know that Josh loves me. I know I love him. that is all that matters. I did however be-friend the girl that makes my stomach turn. I did it to prove something to myself. I guess that I was going to not care anymore?

So yeah I am making some good choices lately and have been so much happier on the inside as a result. I also cleared the air with my sister and have been making a huge effort to be happier when I go home. And also to talk to my mom more. It is really great.

I am excited for the weeks to come. I just bought Wild tickets to surprise Josh with for valentines day. I feel good about it 🙂

He brought up Erik the other day. As a joke, but he said something about my happiness. I wish i could tell him that I have never felt this way. I wish I could describe how I feel about him other than just saying ‘i love you’. these feelings are just intense (in a good way) and I have not felt them before. I am sure of so many things, it’s creepy. haha.

In other news..

School is starting to get repetitive. I feel I am coming to that point where I like to start changing my mind about things. I think it is just because the classes I have this semester are pretty boring and a couple feel the exact same as ones I took last semester. But I know I will stick it out because this is really what I want to be doing. I just wish I would not have taken this stupid intern-class. It overwhelms me every week, and it makes me feel like since I can’t ship off to Dubai or somewhere super far away in april, that I should change majors. bleh. that is all I have to say about that.

so yeah some big things coming up.

I just hope this deciding where to live thing starts to calm down in the coming days and my stress level about it starts to deflate.

I really like the band Lookbook. They are local and you should all check them out. 🙂

Jeez I sound like my sister.

That is all from me.

i don’t know but I’ve been warned.