–stupid

I broke up with him because I wasn’t in love with him anymore. I shattered his dreams of our future and then pushed him out of my life because I didn’t want to see how badly I hurt him.

I spent 3 years pretending I wanted nothing to do with him. And then in a childish fit, I decided I wanted him to know how happy I was without him. I posted pictures on my MySpace and then left a comment on his page "just saying hi" so I knew he’d look at them. I sent out a mass email when I got engaged specifically so he’d know someone else gave me the ring I gave back to him. I hacked into his sister’s account so that I could see his girlfriend’s page because it was private. I still check it on a regular basis so that I can compare pictures and see if he was happier with me than he is with her.

I sent him a mushy (albeit fake) email saying I never thought our friendship would get away from us like it did just to get him to think about how we used to be.

I did all these petty things to prove to him myself that I’m better off without him. And now I’m sitting here, crushed, because I just got an email from him that negates it all. He doesn’t think about me anymore. He doesn’t compare his current girlfriend to me and think about how he threw away something amazing by letting me slip away. He doesn’t care.

Why the fuck do I?