Fabulous Jarred
May 22, 2008

GSA’s are not sex clubs

Recently, a principal in South Carolina recently announced he was resigning over the establishment of a GSA at his school. His reasoning (thanks to BlackTsunami for the quote) is as follows:

“The formation of this club conflicts with my professional beliefs in that we do not have other clubs at Irmo High school based on sexual orientation, sexual preference, or sexual activity. In fact our sex education curriculum is abstinence based. [Seithman comments: I’ll try to leave aside the question of how saying “don’t ahve sex” qualifies as “education” for now.] I feel the formation of a Gay/Straight Alliance Club at Irmo High school implies that students joining the club will have chosen to or will choose to engage in sexual activity with members of the same sex, opposite sex, or members of both sexes.

To be honest, this is not a new argument. I’ve seen many anti-gay people refer to GSA’s as “sex clubs.” It’s as if the only thing that they can imagine kids doing during a GSA meeting is discussing (or worse, having) sex. I suppose this shouldn’t be surprising, as anti-gay people seem to get hung up on that whole sex thing themselves, so they automatically assume gay people are equally hung up on it.

However, in the case of a GSA, I can only assume that people making such an assumption have never actually talked to a gay teen. Quite frankly, there are a lot of other things that fall pretty high on the list of things they need to talk about. Let’s just run down a partial list:

  1. Concerns over how they’re going to meet their ideal boyfriend or girlfriend when they’re already limited to 2-3% of the population as even remote possibilities. (Hey, I’m in my thirties and sometimes I worry about that one.)
  2. Concerns about how their parents will react. (Even gay-affirming parents can be taken aback when their own child comes out to them.)
  3. Concerns of how to deal with teasing, name-calling, and bullying from other classmates.
  4. Concerns about how to safely figure out if you can tell the cute boy in gym class that you think he’s cute without getting yourself beaten up in the process.
  5. Concerns about dealing with people’s strange and sometimes inappropriate questions.
  6. Questions on what they can do to ensure a better life for themselves and other LGBT people.
  7. Figuring out what their sexual orientation actually is. (Thanks for the suggestion, Rose)
  8. Taking comfort in the knowledge they’re not alone or the only one going through this. (Thanks for the suggestion, Erin.)

(Note: If any gay teens or gay adults who remember their teen years would like to suggest additions to this list, I’d be happy to keep it growing.

Quite frankly, there are a lot of things to talk about when it comes to being gay, especially when you’re young and life in general is confusing and uncertain. So this idea that gay kids are just going to sit around discussing sex or hooking up to have sex is so far from reality that it’s not even in the same universe.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that the topic of sex won’t ever come up. (Heck, I’m not even saying that no kids will ever meet at a GSA meeting and decide to enter into a sexual relationship.) We’re talking about teens with raging hormones and lots of questions, after all. But at the same time, I think these discussions are more likely to focus on the kinds of things that should’ve been covered in a decent sex ed class, anyway. (You know, one that says more than “don’t have sex.”) Like any other kid, they’re going to want to know about health risks. And they might even want to know about where and how love and sex might intersect. They’re not going to be looking for a how-to manual. (If that’s all they wanted, they could jump on their favorite P2P network and download a couple dozen videos.)

And ultimately, I think this is where those who oppose the formation of a GSA do both the children and their own ideals a great disservice. A GSA provides an opportunity for adult involvement in such discussion. It provides an opportunity for discussions about ethics, responsibility, and many other topics. It provides an opportunity to offer guidance and provide proper role models.

The problem is, anti-gay people automatically assume that there are no ethics involved in same sex relationships. They think there’s no such thing as a good gay role model. They think homosexuality is nothing more than a den of complete depravity.

The problem is, their actions only serve to create that reality they think already exists. In the end, they’re part of the problem.

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victim_of_love
May 23, 2008

your position is very well stated and thought out. and you are very insightful to note that the argument when it comes to right-wing/anti-gay is over before it started because they don’t see any foundation for the necessity of the groups to begin with. the problem is systemic, epidemic, and unfortunately tragic. look at the GLBT suicide rates- astronomical. thanks for your entry.

Prescriptive, not proscriptive, yo! 😛 Although I don’t believe that debate is relevant to my comment on the News Diary. I was simply drawing Steve’s attention to the fact that the grammar he used is considered wrong by American grammar roolz, yo! To prepare him for any Americans who might correct him, in case he thinks ‘WTF, what are they on about?’

Ah – but my point was to draw Steve’s attention to the fact that the rule exists. Because, as a Brit, he was probably not aware of it. And it’s utterly true what I said about the Harry Potter books, yo! See, whether my commenter sticks to the prescriptive rules or not does not actually mean that they do not exist, yo! And so pointing to their existence is not stereotyping.

Haha – no, I know you didn’t. But the illogical point she’s made about stereotyping was the point of my entry, yo! The descriptive/prescriptive debate is not relevant to my point. Incidentally, I’m actually a descriptive linguist myself, yo. While still recognising the societal importance of following prescriptive rules to the required extent in things like formal writing.

good thoughts. i think i’d agree, with the exception of the sex ed because i don’t think sex ed should be taught in schools at all. (but if it is, it shouldnt be abstinence only, though it should at least mention abstinence, as it is the only actual effective way to prevent things.) and of course, the sex ed isn’t really the point of this, so yes, good thoughts! lol

Haha – well, the point was the point of my point, yo! Frank Perretti, yo? Interesting. I read a few pages of his first novel (This Present Darkness or something) but didn’t really get into it. What do you think of him as an author, yo? Particularly in the light of the fact that he’s a Christian and you’re a naughty heathen gay witch, yo! Do you read him for enjoyment or out of curiosity?

Frank Peretti is awesome, yo! I agree with you 100% on this entry.

Ultimately, I would like it to be parental responsibility, in fact, I think it’s the parents’ rights, though I understand your concerns. I think the root of this problem, and most, is that we’re a society built on co-dependency. We NEED government/schools/doctors/whatever to take care of ourselves and we’ve raised up generations of people who don’t know any better. So, I would suggest (cont)

addressing this first, with less government, and generally giving responsibility back to the parents– teach parents how to be parents by making them step up, and not doing it for them. So, I don’t necessarily think sex ed is ready to be banished immediately, so to speak, but over a longer period of time. (cont)

I think, generally, for parents who don’t act like parents, even after these changes (which I do believe will help a lot), other family/friends/church/whatever often take the parental responsibility, so I don’t know that these children would always be left to figure it all out on their own. (cont)

I also don’t really have a problem with after-school, student initiated activities that do talk openly about these things– and even some parental involvement in it– I think many teens will talk to their friends’ parents before their own. (cont)

I don’t have a problem with guidance counselors or school nurses or anyone else stepping in– though I would suggest they include parents as much as possible. (cont)

I have no problem with open conversation, that’s not the part of sex ed that bothers me. I understand we have other issues here with gay teens who don’t have anywhere to go- but I still think that as parents learn to be parents a lot of these things will take care of themselves. There could always be support groups and support systems and a lot more openness- just not government sanctioned.(cont

Ah, yes, yo. I suppose as a genre, maybe it’s similar to fantasy and stuff like that, so if you enjoy that genre you’ll enjoy it. And of course books you read in a former time always have a special place in your heart. I totally still love reading Enid Blyton, even though now as an adult I see how ridiculously prejudiced her books are – they’re still so fun, yo!

(Which of course, brings me to the fact that I don’t think the school system itself should be government run… So, there’s a lot to consider here.) So, ultimately, I would say give responsibility to parents and build support systems, through parents, friends, family, church, other groups.

Ugh. I will never survive this character limit. I’m entirely too long winded. LOL. I typed all of that on a text document first and copy/pasted because I can’t think in spurts.

Now, I am finally reading your entry, yo. I’ve never heard of a GSA. I don’t think we have them in the UK – or I’ve never been aware of them. Is it a movement to promote understanding and lack of fear/prejudice between gay and straight people? What about asexuals, yo? Where do they fit in? (Poor emo excluded asexies, yo!)

You’ve never heard of Enid Blyton, yo? Gosh, no childhood is complete without Enid Blyton (or so the posters at the libraries say here!). She was a British children’s author, writing in the 1940s and 1950s. She wrote loads and loads of books – not good quality, but fun, and full of lashings of ginger beer! Famous Five, Secret Seven, Malory Towers, The Wishing Chair, etc.

TheCrew
May 23, 2008

ryn: well duh. that’s a given. i shall be queen. seriously, i do believe at this point it is assumed and expected i take the primary leadership role and believe it or not, i’m ready willing and able. i’m excited about this.

Mommy to 3+1
May 23, 2008

I think it is important to have some sort of support network for gay teens. Being a teen is hard enough. Being gay appears to be difficult enough. Being a GAY TEEN? It seems that would open a whole other can of worms. I think that REGARDLESS of any type of sex ed in the school, it only seems APPROPRIATE to allow the students to form a GSA. As for sex ed in school, I do think it is the……….

Mommy to 3+1
May 23, 2008

…responsibility of the parents to teach their children about sex, but I also know that there are many parents out there who just can’t seem to do it. But “abstinence only” sex ed is NOT sex ed. How can you get an EDUCATION on “don’t have sex”? It would seem more logical to me to teach the kids about sex, what it is, what it does (emotionally AND physically), and how to protect themselves…

Mommy to 3+1
May 23, 2008

…should they decide to have sex. But also educate them on the possible physical and emotional problems having sex too early can cause.

I’m going to make this a private note. Lord Morpheus told us that the assaulted person in question chose not to call the authorities. He said that the victim just wanted the whole thing over and done with, with little fuss. So the police never were involved.

I PUT YOUR ENTRY ON RC, YO! BECAUSE I CAN! 🙂 NOW YOU HAVE OD FAME!

RYN: Hrm… what? And I agree with your argument, enjoyed reading it. 🙂

Thank you. 🙂

Character limits on comments is my main bugbear here, yo! Gosh, yo – I like to leave a veritable essay of a comment if I have mind to, so this character limit really cramps my style!

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