Wedding (edit)

We finally settled on a date for the wedding!

(I know I have a few noters on here who really think Noah and I shouldn’t get married. I understand the concerns. At the same time, we live together, we have a baby together….he treats me well, he wants to take care of me and Baby, and I love him. I do have some doubts, but I don’t see the point in stalling and putting it off forever. If I’m going to give it a chance with him, I have to go all in, and move forward. It’s not like "take it slow" is much of an option when we already have a baby!)

Anyway, we’re going to get married on Noah’s birthday. If you’ve been reading my diary for a while (and have a really good memory), you might remember that Noah’s birthday is kind of a mess. He never celebrates it as his birthday, because it’s the anniversary of his best friend’s death (7 1/2 years ago) and also the anniversary of him getting sober (and yes, those two things are very related). It’s also the date last year that he had a relapse and almost ruined our relationship.

So we’re going to get married on the day that marks him being one year sober (sucks how it starts over like that. He made it 7 years, and now he’s back to 1), and hopefully we’ll turn it into much more of a positive day instead of a day he hates.

And neither of us has family to invite, so we’re just going to do a really simple city hall type wedding (just me, him, Jess as my maid of honor, and Noah’s best man), and take probably 20-30 friends out to dinner afterward (or maybe we’ll wait until the weekend to do the dinner. Not sure yet).

(edit)

Thanks for pointing out that after writing an entire entry about picking a wedding date, I didn’t even hint at when it is. 🙂

April 23rd.

As long as you are happy that’s all that matters. I like the idea of turning the day around and making it a happy special occasion.

Wow! That’s coming up fast. You didn’t say if you were going to have baby there. Will you get her all dressed up in a little flower girl dress and have Jesse hold her or were you not thinking of having her there? I doubt you wouldn’t have her there. I’m just curious. Regardless, congratulations!

😉

Yay wedding date!

Yay! I’m happy for you guys 🙂

RYN: lol they don’t “Annoy” me, they just strike a nerve because I know what I SHOULD be doing, I’m just not doing it. So please, let me know your thoughts, I love feedback!

RYN: It’s totally my fault, I realize that, and you are further correct that I want to change it. In my upcoming massive introspective entry will definitely have a section regarding this exact subject. The reason I tend to “need” things I think it because I get attached to them, they fill a need I can’t fill with people. And thus I want really nice things, and I tend to take very good care of them, and keep them for a very long time. So yes, could i get by with the 13″, sure. Would I rather have the 15? I don’t know. There are definitely pluses to both. Basically the laptop while most people would say “That is just something you want” it is such a big part of my life that it truly is a need for me, I would go crazy without it, because I use it for so much. Again, I am justifying lol. I need someone to talk to about this stuff that isn’t going to LET me justify stuff unless it truly deserves it.

Ryn: Actually I appreciate it a lot, you seem very logical and straight forward much like myself, which as I said earlier – I need someone to tell me this stuff, saying it in a no nonsense kind of way is even better. What you are saying here though us what I have told myself so many times, I just never get around to making the budget. Plus I have one fatal flaw that gets me everytime – I am constantly worried that if I don’t buy or save something right at that time it will go off the market or otherwise be unavailable to me. I fight that almost daily, the only way around it is to just make sure I don’t know about “it”. Such as in subscribing from newletters or sales ads. I still get anxiety about it though. And the thing is I used to be SO good with money, I used to save for everything for months or years and it was such a sense of accomplishment and I truly valued that item even more…cont’d…

…sorry for no line breaks btw…on my iPhone that I didn’t need lol. Anyway…I have written about it before that lately I buy so many things so quickly without saving ( not using credit either mind you ), that they lack the connection or meaning in my mind so much that I forget I even bought them or don’t form the same attachment to them as stuff I bought 10 years ago. I know I have a problem,I just need someone to talk me through it and keep me on task ( not saying I expect you to lol ) but family / C want me to have everything I want so they don’t stop me, and even enable me in some cases. I always second guess myself, then rationalize, thrn buy something, then feel guilty, then justify and move on to the next thing. Everything you said is spot on and completely accurate and I thank you for taking the time to say it!

RYN: Yeah random sex is typically fun lol Short notes are a pain, they’re even worse when typing on a phone because the counter doesn’t always work to tell you when you’re out of characters and then it just cuts off your note! Cool, I will email you and respond to your other notes!