Beautiful

I’ve noticed a trend at the "mommy groups" I go to. It seems to be the thing for women to sit around and basically talk shit about themselves, about how awful they look after having a baby, how hard it is to lose the baby weight, etc. One woman the other day was talking about how she hasn’t been able to have sex with her husband since her baby was born (4 months ago!!) because she’s sure he’s not attracted to her now.

The woman who said that….she’s gorgeous. This is a room full of beautiful, healthy women, holding their beautiful, healthy babies, and all sitting around talking about how much they don’t like themselves. It makes me sad.

I know I have a fair bit of self-loathing at times, and even have struggled with an eating disorder, but ever since having Baby I really can’t bring myself to think or say anything negative about my body. My body fucking rocks! It made another whole person. It survived a very traumatic birth, and was all healed in just a few weeks. And now, without any conscious effort from me, my body is able to feed a baby all by itself (seriously, it blows my mind that somehow I make just the right amount of food for her and it has everything she needs). My arms are perfectly designed to hold and comfort her, and my body temperature even adjusts to keep her warm.

If I could snap my fingers and be a size 2 again, of course I would. But I love my body so much more now than I did a year ago. For the first time in my adult life, I just eat when I’m hungry, rather than agonizing over every bite that goes in my mouth, and worrying all the time about food.

I worried through my pregnancy that Noah wouldn’t like me anymore if I couldn’t lose all the baby weight right away, and I’m realizing now how stupid that was. He can’t keep his hands off me. He says that seeing me with his baby is incredibly sexy. The woman from playgroup who won’t have sex because she hates her body…I’m sure her husband thinks she’s sexy, too (and is probably getting REALLY frustrated!).

When the talk at playgroup turns to the self-loathing stuff, I keep wanting to say something, but I’m not sure what to say. I’m still a little scared of the mommy groups, because it seems like if you say the wrong thing you get a lot of judgment. So I just sit there and smile, and talk about babies, and do my best to avoid the topic.

It’s so easy for us women to fall into that self loathing trap, but holy crap I hope I have the same attitude as you once I have babies! And it’s true, women’s bodies are amazing, they create a whole other human freakin being!

Say what you said here! Sometimes (as a woman who is frustrated by her appearance) it’s nice to know that other people have found a way to love their bodies. I’m learning to love my legs. They might be short and my thighs might be flabby but dammit, they can carry me through a 5 mile run! And that is awesome :). Tell these ladies to fake it til they make it. If they pretend they are sexy and desirable, they will feel it. Plus, someone (a guy) once told me that boobs are boobs, not matter what they look like!

RYN: Yes, we talked about it extensively before hand, both between C and I and also between D and C and I. D and I didn’t expect anything to happen because C had said she wasn’t comfortable, but C initiated most of what happened that night. C and I and D have since talked more about C’s issues with that night. So who knows what will happen in the future!