Mostly other stuff..

Okay, just have to get a *little* more off my chest about the nanny situation and then I am moving the heck on.  She never did respond back.  In fact, I tried to look up her Facebook page last night and it’s gone..she completely deleted her account.  Just thinking about the whole thing makes me sick.  It’s just such a huge betrayal.  I’ve tried telling myself it hasn’t gone on TOO long to ease the guilt, I guess.  We did check up on her four or five months ago maybe with the nanny cams and while she wasn’t super active, she was playing with her and wasn’t neglecting her.  So it apparently started some time between then and now.  We’ll never know.  
 
Emily has had a pretty bad rash for a week or so which is unusual for her.  She has very sensitive skin, but we never had diaper rash issues.  We tried butt paste and lotions and everything for a diaper rash and it wouldn’t go away.  It was really bugging her last night and she couldn’t keep her hands out of her diaper and was itching like crazy.  We took her to the doctor this morning and it’s a yeast infection.  She doesn’t use bubble bath, no change of soaps or lotions, no antibiotics and she hasn’t been sick at all, so it seemed really out of the blue.  Until I thought about the fact that if the nanny was neglecting her and not watching her..had she been changing her diaper properly?  I know she changed a poopy diaper in the middle of last week, so I’m thinking maybe she didn’t even notice she had pooped for a while.  I’m afraid if I see her again I would bitch slap her as hard as I could.  Emily makes it quite obvious when she poops and will even tell you, so there’s no excuse.  It’s speculation of course, but I find it odd timing.  I am so glad she’s gone.
 
Bryan’s aunt watched her yesterday.  Now, Emily has always seemed happy and fine when I got home, but this was so different.  My eyes are seriously filling with tears thinking about it.  Emily was SO happy.  There were toys out and they had played with blocks and were working on colors and had painted and clearly done something with her day.  I could not have been more thankful..and it completely cemented in my head that we did the right thing by firing the nanny ASAP.  I wish we had found out sooner, but we didn’t.  All I can do is fix it and make it better now.  Mommy guilt will plague me for a long time over this one..but I’m trying to look at the positive side.  There is NO way this can happen again.  We are going to be super vigilant about the next nanny and we will be watching, and they’re going to know it.  It is going to make us be very clear with our expectations.  I just can’t wait for my maternity leave to start and have my sweet Caden here and bond with my babies for four months before going back to work.  Two more months…
 
Bryan’s aunt couldn’t watch Emily today, so I called in sick.  It worked out well since we really did need to take Emily to the doctor today.  Not to mention, I think I just needed a break.  Emily is napping and I am actually laying down in the middle of the day, drinking water with my feet up.  I need this just after the emotional roller lasted the last week has been.  We got another sex case at work this week too and I just need a break, just for a single freaking day, to not hear about a kid being abused.  So I’m taking advantage of this day. =) Well, this moment at least.  I’m going to take Emily to the lake after she gets up from her nap and eats lunch. =P
 
I haven’t actually updated on life in a while since the whole nanny fiasco!  We went to my mom’s the weekend before last and went to the fair.  We had a blast.  Emily’s first fair rides and she loved it!  We went swimming with the kids the next day.  It was a great weekend. 
 
Lets see..I had a doctor’s appointmen

t last week.  Everything is great!  Of course Caden is no longer head down. But it doesn’t really matter.  It has been a little strange getting used to the shift in body weight though.  My balance seems like it adjusted to him being like that, but now that he’s sideways I seem a little more waddle-ey and sore.  My back has been bugging me a bit.  My stomach is huge though..seriously can’t believe there’s two months left for this baby to grow.  My GD test came back great and I’m not anemic.
 
And Caden’s crib is here!  It’s apparently the exact same color as Emily’s even though I triple checked we got the right color we ordered.  It’s not as dark as I wanted it to be..but it is what it is and I do love that crib.  The wood doesn’t look the best with the wall color, but I’m going to leave it be.  It’s not perfect, but it’s cute enough and I’m pretty sure he won’t care. =)
 
I’ve been working on scheduling maternity and newborn pics.  I have the newborn ones scheduled for November 7, barring any complications with birth and so on, and the maternity picture will probably be in a few weeks.
 
We got a new vacuum on Sunday!  You know what’s funny?  I don’t think I had ever bought a vacuum before, lol!  Only took me 30 years. =P I remember a friend gave me one a long time ago and I used that forever, then Bryan’s parents unloaded their old one on us a few years ago.  They always worked well, so we never bothered.  It’s really old now though and with a two-story house it’s a pain to drag it up and down the stairs.  Bryan has been eyeing this expensive-as-hell Dyson for over a year now and we did an impulse buy when we saw it at Costco.  Wish we had done it sooner!!  He vacuumed with the old one first, then vacuumed with the Dyson and it picked up so much stuff!  I’m glad we got it and it hopefully lasts us a long time.
 
I still have to find a location for the baby shower.  I did find a place and then it turned out to be booked for the day we wanted. = I almost just want to do it at our house but it would probably be a little cramped.  We’ll see.  I almost don’t care at this point.  In five days it will be September..so then I can officially start saying he will be born next month!! =D It is at the very, very end of that month.  But oh we’ll.
 
Emily has slept straight through the last few nights.  I was sure she would wake up last night since she was itching so bad right before bedtime. =( Hopefully the lotion we got works quickly and she gets some relief soon, poor girl.  We’re keeping her in disposables for a week because I need to strip the cloth diapers.  Even if you wash them apparently you can keep infecting them with the yeast over and over again, so I’ll have to strip them and wait until she’s completely healed.
 
I was feeling a little down the last few days for obvious reasons, but I feel much better now.  Everything is going to work out.  Bryan doesn’t want to try putting Emily in daycare this Friday when his aunt can’t watch her, so he’ll be taking that off, but then he has three glorious weeks off work.  I’m looking forward to that.  And I’ll put an ad on care.com probably next week, a very specific ad, lol, so we’ll be doing that some time in there.  The weeksseem to be going by pretty quickly now, so I really don’t have too much longer.  I will be 31 weeks tomorrow!!
 
I have to just say that I am a little paranoid about noises and stuff right now.  I don’t think the nanny is a complete psycho, but I find myself being afraid of creeks in the house suddenly, double checking that the doors and windows are locked, etc.  It’s just so weird that she completely disappeared and didn’t respond and all..I’m almost afraid she’ll show up out of the blue and want to talk about it or see Emily one last time or something.  I really don’t think she’d do it..but I have been very jumpy the last few days.  Since she never responded we didn’t know if she’d just try to show up yesterday so we made sure the doors were locked and told Bryan’s aunt to not answer the door, but of course nothing happened.  I hope I let it go soon.
 
All right, Emily is starting to stir so I need to get my butt up and get ready for the rest of our day. =)
 
~Sheralyn