NT scan. And it’s (possibly) a….

Just had the NT scan and the baby was too big for the screening!!  A biggun. =D measured a little more than 14 weeks and they don’t give proper results at that size..but oh we’ll.  It would be nice to have advanced notice if the baby had something wrong, but I am at a really low risk for that so I’m not worried.  It has two arms, two legs, a brain, fingers and toes, a beautiful beating heart and all of its other organs looked good, so I’m not going to worry about it.

 
But omg, shock of my life, people.  The tech asked if we were going to find out the gender and I said yes, we definitely are finding out (thinking there was no way he would guess this early!!) and he looked between the legs and I didn’t see anything.  So I said to Bryan that I didn’t see any parts so I think I’m going to be right at the reveal party..and he moves the wand.  There were MOST CERTAINLY "parts" then!!  And the tech said, " I don’t know, that looks a lot bigger than a girl nub."
 
AAAHHHHHH!!!
 
How have I (possibly) got the gender wrong EVERY TIME, lol!!  My eyes instantly filled with happy tears.  It was just such a huge shock to me because I was so certain it was a girl!  I would *LOVE* to have a boy but I just really didn’t think it would be!  You should have seen Bryan’s face, lol!!!  He was clearly holding back the biggest smile ever. =) Later I told him he is going to be so disappointed if it turns out to be a girl now (which it still could!!) and he said he was actually looking forward to having another girl. =) Our little girl is just so sweet and a joy to have, it really is a fun thought of having another girl.  But a BOY!!  I still somehow think we’re going to find out its a girl at the gender reveal, lol. 
 
So Bryan and I are going to have smiles plastered on our faces all day. =) So exciting!!  It feels like it’s going to be a whole different experience or something, if it is a boy.  I was thinking I already had everything since I thought it was a girl, lol.  I…still can’t believe it!!
 
You know what’s funny?  I called the baby a "he" last week and I said, "Whoa, where the heck did that come from?" Lol!  Oh my goodness..
 
I am actually still at the dr’s for the NT scan and it is taking forever.  I’ve been here two hours.
Of course she walked in the room right when I wrote that. =) Im still getting the blood portion of the QUAD screening done, they just won’t have the help of the ultrasound.  *shrug*
 
They also have me the appointment for the official gender scan!  May 29th.  So almost exactly a month away.  We are going to Great Wolf lodge the weekend before, then Emily’s birthday is two weeks later and we’re going up to my mom’s.  If we wanted to do the gender reveal party right away we would have to go to my mom’stwo weekends in a row and not have a weekend at home for three weeks..= So I think we’ll have to wait an extra week and just do the gender reveal the day before Emily’s birthday.  Oh the suspense!!!  It might work better that way though because I can send the envelope with the gender inside to my mom, get it out of my possession so I don’t have a chance to peak, lol, and she can give it to a bakery there and that way we don’t have to travel with a cake.  It’s not that long to wait, I suppose. =)
 
I’m going to try and take our FB announcement pic today.  I’m going to put Emily in the shirt I bought and see if I can get her to hold the ultrasound above her head.  I might have to wait for the weekend so Bryan can help by doing something goofy and getting her to smile more..I don’t know if I can even get her to hold the picture up though.  We’ll see.
 
Speaking of my sweet baby (I am totally going to jinx it and pay for it by mentioning it), she has been going right to sleep at bedtime the last few nights!  Like it took less than 10 minute for her to fall asleep last night.  CRAZY!!  She’s been sleeping all night, too!  That’s my big girl. =)
 
I’ve decided to finally turn her carseat around too, *sigh*.  She’s had to bend her legs for a while now (she’s tall) but it’s getting a little ridiculous now and she doesn’t fit comfortably.  Almost made it to 2!  It is going to be so strange having her face the other way!  She has had a huge burst in language lately too and is talking up a storm.  She picked up one of our credit cards yesterday that has an orca whale on the front of it and kept saying "a whayle" over and over, lol!  She has the cutest way of saying things.  She emphasizes certain letters and it sounds so cute.  Like when she says bye bye she really emphasizes the Y. =)  And that ABC puzzle I got her that I thought would take months and months to figure it out, she can do it completely by herself now!  She puts every letter right where it belongs.  She doesn’t say the letter but when she puts in the H she says "house" because that’s the picture it corresponds to on the puzzle, says "whale" for W, etc.  How is this all happening so fast all of a sudden?  And when we have a new baby she is going to look so much bigger!!  Bittersweet.
 
You know, I let myself down on my way home from the appointment and got really scared for a few minutes.  I think a lot of the reasons I liked the idea of another girl is (I know this sounds stupid) that I’ve had a healthy pregnancy with a girl and lost a boy.  I feel like I have a bigger chance of losing a boy.  Like maybe my body rejects something about the different hormones.  I know that’s crazy but I was just scared.  I’m almost at the exact point I lost my first pregnancy and it doesn’t help I keep reading these stories on BBC about how they think their water broke.  Because I know what that’s like and I don’t want to live through it again.  I don’t know if I could face Bryan again if I killed two of his sons. *sigh*
 
But I’m looking at the positives and that everything is going well.  I can see I’m still going to have scary moments, but the farther along I get the more confident I will get. 
 
Bryan asked me if it is a boy if I still wanted possibly a third baby since we would have a boy and a girl.  I don’t know!  I’ve decided I definitely won’t know for sure enough to get my tubes tied during the c-section.  Since Bryan’s immediate family is out of the picture and my dad has passed, the only family my kids will have is us, my mom, my sister and her kids.  It’s not a lot.  I know quality over quantity, and we are truly fortunate at how amazing our little family is, but I want my kids to have other siblings to lean on if they have to too.  I don’t know.  I also know the thought of having to go through the tough baby times a thirdtime doesn’t sound appealing right now.  The teething and late nights, no social life, the strain really young children seem to have on our marriage.  I hate to say it, but it probably is going to depend on how easy our family transitions into having a new baby in the house.  If its really difficult, I might say that’s it.   And we can’t do as much out and a out as a family with really little kids too, like going on vacations or Disney Land and so forth.  That will push those kinds of trips for us back a few more years.  Which certainly may feel worth it at some point..but I can’t answer that now.  I hope I get that feeling where I know my family is complete that some of you have written about and know for sure.
 
All right, now to watch a little Downton Abbey before Emily wakes up from her nap. =)
I will scan and post the ultrasound pictures soon!!
 
~Sheralyn