Thought Train Outta Control

I hate my brain some days.  I hate where it goes, what it does and the times it fails me.  I hate waiting for anything and wish I could remove that part of me.  I hate being honest with people only to be shut down and rejected.  I hate anyone taking up so much time in my head.  

I know better.  I can do better,.  I am better.  I feel like I’m in the cocoon again and just on the edge of great beauty.  Close enough to see and taste, but always out of reach.  My life has been one long "chase a dangling" carrot chaos.

When does it start for ME?  When do I get what I want?  When can I have it all?  Why is there always a thorn in my craw?  Why can I only find satisfaction through lying to myself in the moment?

I’m angry, impatient and excited.  Bad combination.  Once I get my truck and get rollin this should all even out, but right now it’s got me so close to the edge I feel like my head is about to explode!!1

 
Wishing you Peace and Resolution,

Yaechle