1/31/04

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

Aside from the cold shoulder from somone i’ve met only recently after being flirty all nite well things just seem to be getting worse n worse… i can’t take this shit…

 im not putting up with shit anymore im definately moving out but i have no clue when i will be able too… Shits gone on long enough… im sick of being my roomies babysitter and worrry wart…  She thinks she can take care of her self but really shes just as lost as me with out  some of the common sense that i have… She does way too much shit especially when drunk n i don’t want to put up with it anymore..

im grateful for some of the people she has introduced me too its just that i can’t handle her shit anymore.  IM so fucking tired of caring so much about worrying about people…

When will it end? Where will it stop? TIll i have nothing left to give anyone i suppose… but thats just me.. Why i believe im destined to be alone is cus i care too much about the people i know… n already care a lot for… n some i know ill never be able to know on a more intimate level… I regret that but i can’t change the way things stand. the only thing i know how to do, is to be open and honest about my feelings with that person. n if they say yay or nay then i either work on getting over them or hiding what i feel…  The latter i do pretty well now… even if it makes me cry myself to sleep at nite…

How do things fucking get this way? how do i let myself get in these situations? Why do i let myself care so damn much about people?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrssssssssssssssssss i wish i knew…

my rants done lataz peoplez im outtie.