the story of me n Brent… ( this confuses me)

we meet in a chat room find out we are a hour from each other. we make plans to meet. they get moved around.. and then when we do meet, we watch a movie, and he sleeps over on the couch. then after that it gets confusign cus we talk try to plan getting together again and then he mentions that he wants a friend with us. well i talked to one of my friends, even though its straining our friendship. she said she wuold. so i tell him. and its like he just wants her now,its like im not even in the picture.

and now if i c him i have to have a friend with me? what the fuck?

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Well, nothign is going to happen with brent ever we’re simply not going to talk to each other because i dont have what he’s looking for which is someone to fulfill his fantasys with.. and i just can’t do that.. not even if i truely wanted too.

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I hate not measuring up to any guys standards, i hate being single. I hate the games they play with me.. Why can’t they just be straight forward with me like i am with them? is that a crime nowadays or what? It hurts worse that i can find a Friends with benefits, but i can’t find a bf? What does that do a girl’s confidence thats totally shattered? Keep it from getting put back together, thats for sure..

I just want to die… i hate being single… its like perpetually loneliness i can’t handle that no more. I want a guy who can help me get past some of my emotional problems i had in HS, im not expecting him to be perfect cus no one is… (except Jesus) But it would help… Its like everything in life is against me. I can’t be happy, i can’t get a guy, My grams is currently dying piece by piece. what else do i need? perpetually toture to?