things are exploding or going where their wanted?

School:

English class two page autobiography sucks. dont know what to due with it. its almost finished due monday. Java class is boring as hell right now. Other than that my technical classes pertaing to my major are fine.

Social life:

I wont see S. till sometime next week. Dont have a car let alone a license till i talk to the states attorney abotu supervision. but hopefully that will work out. Need to find a part time job meet people outside of college. I’m tempted to go to work at the Micky D’s down the road just because its a job. plus its within walking distance of my apartment. of course a job at papa john’s would work too.

Back to S., he and i have been talking more about this friends with benefits. yes im a virgin but for how much longer i dont know? It seems more clear to me now than ever to just take S. up on his offer and let him teach me the ways of sex. Its consuming my thoughts. and i dont know what to do about it. i know i want it. but its a struggle of my relgious upbringing thats making me reluntant. yet today i had philosophy wake up call when my friend and i went to the mall which is not far from my apartment. it was inlightening to say the least. i can’t recall excactly what was said because my memory seems to not function on short term very well lately. but this conversation clicked inside my head. like it was meant to happen and i was supposed to be there for it. which could be the result of my so wanting to be with S. Even if its only once all i want is the moment.

its 1:26 am and my thoughts still stray to me and S. will they ever stop i tried starting a new book series. ive tried MB. i tried grooving to my music nothigns working. to get him out of my constant thoughts. well im gonna to try and sleep. lataz