Untitled Poem

U made me feel safe

something i never felt before

u held me and i didn’t twinge

in fear.

How did u mange to do this. how did u make me

feel so relaxed? Afer i was so tense?

Just being in ur presence felt relaxing to me.

Going home i so wanted to stay where i was.

but u knew that something would happen i couldn’t cope with.

but somehow u left ur mark.

i couldn’t sleep

i closed my eyes and all i saw was ur hands

running over me.

i’ve never felt so safe in a person’s arms before.

u did something i couldn’t recreate on my own alone.

made yearn to feel ur arms around me again, holding me close.

Really need to get over S. and how he made me feel last night. but i can’t seem to get it out of my mind. i couldn’t go to sleep with out seeing him and his hands, why why why? it felt so good. relaxed me a little. i haven’t felt relaxed even a little bit for almost a month. if hes what i need to relax then im up a shit crick, cus ill know ill end up thinking with my heart and i know i shouldn’t. I feel like i know what kablafina feels about P., when she sleeps in his bed, having his arms around her. it felt like i had come home. to this i didn’t want to end.

OH hell now i am fucked up worse than ever, trying not to think with my heart and finding my self. shit whats a girl supposed to do live in isolation. I CAN’T DO THAT. i hate being alone. im sick of being alone. and yet being with S. makes me want to go compeletly crazy. What have i gotten myself into????

i need thinking time to clear my head, wont post for a few days.